#they are too pure i want to fight something

[areislol]

‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎‎‎liquor — with the genshin men

pairings. diluc, zhongli, kazuha, xiao, neuvillette, alhaitham, childe x gn! reader

warnings. mentions of alcohol, intoxication (nothing too bad), fluff, slight angst if you squint, mutual crushing, kazuha being kazuha, emboldened = giving confidence, xiao is the one that's drunk (opposite roles)

synopsis. your accidental (but not so accidental) confessions and their reaction

wordcount. 5.3k

‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎love belt - honghyun ft younha

— ragnvindr. diluc

the atmosphere was at its' peak filled with lively chatter, you found yourself seated at a corner table, nursing a glass of mondstadt's finest wine.

diluc, the enigmatic and reserved owner of the dawn winery, sat across from you, his usual stern expression softened as he watched you down your drink.

he let out a deep sigh before warning you once again. "slow down, don't drink too much." he quickly swipped away your cup and placed it down to the side of the table. he watched as you frowned and attempted to grab it but to no avail.

"give– it– back! diluc!" you whisper-yelled, wanting more of the delectable wine. his grasp remained on the wine glass with no intention of giving it back to you.

he knew it was a bad idea when you suggested drinking to celebrate the new, best-selling drink of his. he dislikes wine so it was only you, jean, kaeya, lisa and other people of mondstadt who drank. kaeya had already bought jean and lisa back home.

it was only you and diluc surrounded by drunken idiots who yelled and reeked of alcohol.

it was a definitely a bad idea to let you drink.

you tried your best to grab your glass but after a couple of tries you gave up as you let your cheek rest on the perfectly sanded and glossed wooden table. was it always so clean? diluc did like to keep his tavern clean so...

a sigh. diluc snapped his gaze from the drunk crowd to the chub of your cheek pressed against the table. your index finger slowly drawing circles on the table out of pure boredom.

perhaps it was the intoxicating blend of alcohol and love that pulled your guard down, but you felt a huge urge to pour your deepst secret. but.. which one? hm..

"you know," you began, the words slipping out more easily than you anticipated, "there's something i've never told you before..."

diluc arched an eyebrow, curiosity flickering in his eyes. "go on," he encouraged, his voice a soft rumble amidst the din of the tavern. it wasn't that hard to distinguish your voice against the multiple, loud and cheerful cries.

with a nervous laugh, you continued. "there's this guy i like, he's really handsome and so kind with me..." you explained with a dreamy sigh as you lifted your head up and with the heavy amount of alcohol and tiredness your head fell heavy, but luckily diluc managed to hold onto your cheeks with his palms.

the sound of a chair screeched against the floor as he stood up in a blink of an eye to make sure your head didn't hit the table. you seemed unmoved by this, your eyelids fluttering and fighting to stay open.

"see? so kind to me, i think that would've hurt me if my head really did hit the table hmm?"

your hands reach out and hold his hands in your warm palms while nuzzling his hand onto your cheek. diluc thanked the archons for the fact that you were drunk and not looking at him to witness how he blushed so hard.

you were so cute, how could he not blush? and oh... look at you acting all snuggly to him... wait, what was it you said?

"see? so kind to me, i think that would've hurt me if my head really hit the table hmm?"

before he could form a single thought about your confession, he realised that that wasn't the end of your confession as words began to spill from your lips, unfiltered and raw, catching diluc off guard.

he listened in silence, his usual stern expression softened as you continued on, but he couldn't help but only focus on what you had said earlier.

"i never would have guessed," he murmured, his tone gentle yet reassuring after you finished, face flushed with the mix of embarrassment and the fiery drink.

"thank you for... trusting me with this." you shook your head, waving your hand around. "no no! it's totally fine.. i just hope he likes me back too it has been far too long! i think maybe a couple of years now? do you think he caught on with my feelings or?"

despite your ranting and endless questions, diluc's gaze held you captive. "are you feeling tired?" he said in a means to get you to stop ranting (in the nicest way possible), his voice firm yet kind. and it worked. his gaze softened as you nodded your head.

since he was the owner of the tavern and most people had left, he kicked everyone out although some put up a trouble but it was nothing he had never experienced before.

he lent you his warm, soft coat as a make-shift pillow as you slept through the occasional clanking of the glass and the rushing water. it was way past midnight and finally, everything was cleaned. returning back to the table he stopped right at the end of the table.

a soft and gentle smile made his way to his face. "well, for the record, i like you too, more than you've ever thought." he whispered softly, pushing the hair covering your face.

"i.." he sighed, looking away for a second before returning his gaze back to you. "i'll tell you about my love for you one day. i promise." he finished as the glint in his eyes sparkled, a future with you.. how exciting.

"but it's time to go home now."

— zhongli

the tension between you and zhongli took on a tender warmth. emboldened by the alcohol, you found yourself on the brink of a confession that weighed heavy on your heart.

"zhongli," you began, your voice sharp and quick, "there's something i need to tell you. it's… a veryyy big secret so you mustn't tell anybody."

at the word 'mustn't' you, for some odd reason, sounded it like how a british person would. zhongli hummed softly and set down his glass cup.

he regarded you with a gentle gaze, his expression serene. "you will have my undivided attention, but first we should get going. you can tell me as we walk, okay?" he replied, his voice a soothing balm to your nerves.

with a deep breath, you nod your head. zhongli helped you up with one arm around your waist as his other propped your arm around his neck to keep you secure. he quickly passed the bill to the waiter and walked out.

the air was cool and the night sky gave a sense of security. "feeling alright?" zhongli asked, checking up on you for the second time already. "i'm fine," you replied, "when are we going home?"

you were asking that as if you two lived together.

"we're going home now.. just a couple more steps until we're in my car." at his reply you let out an exhausted yet relieved sigh. finally he reached his car and opened door on the the passenger side, carefully and gently seating you down and strapping you safely before getting into his driver seat.

it was a comfortable ride as he drove through the dark roads, the music playing on the speakers were quiet, he didn't want to disturb your tiredness as he noticed that your head seemed heavy, rocking with each turn of the car.

"zhongli..." you whispered, eyes dazed and tired. his eyes were focusing on the road but he paid attention to your words nonetheless. "ah, the secret, right?" he suddenly remembered. you hummed to confirm.

you summoned the courage to speak the words that had lingered unspoken for far too long. "i… i have feelings for you, zhongli," you confessed and through your drowsiness you turned your head to observe his face, although you weren't sure if the fact that you were heating up was because of the alcohol or the pure embarrassment.

"more than just admiration or friendship. i think.. no, i know i've fallen for you in a romantic way. i mean.. i think i know i've fallen for you.. or is it i have fallen for you and i know that? do i know now that i've fallen for you or have i always known... goodness speaking makes my head hurt."

there was a moment of silence, the weight of your confession hanging in the air and you felt like you could just vomit in that moment but not from the alcohol. you braced yourself for nothing really, your brain all fuzzy.

coincidentally, he had just arrived at your place. perfect timing.

zhongli's expression softened, a flicker of emotion crossing his features like a shooting star against the night sky. he stayed quiet for a few seconds as his eyes locked in with yours. it was exactly like scene straight from a romance film.

"my dear," he said, his voice tender, "your feelings are not lost on me. i have found myself drawn to you in ways i cannot fully explain."

he didn't care if you wouldn't remember this moment after sobering up, if anything he would be thankful if you did forget as it meant that he would have more time to prepare himself.

your heart skipped a beat at his words, hope blossoming like a flower. "you mean… you feel the same way?" you asked, your voice tinged with disbelief.

zhongli nodded, a small smile gracing his lips. "indeed," he replied, his gaze steady and unwavering. "i have long admired your strength, your personality. it's all very... unique." his hands reached out to cup yours, perhaps it was the adrenaline, but you suddenly felt pumped.

you continued to gaze lovingly and into his ember eyes, wow, who's this handsome man?

"so does that mean we're dating?!" zhongli chuckled at your excited voice, were you that eager to date him?

"not.. quite. but we can talk about this once you're sober."

"i'm sober! now tell me!"

"that's not how it works," he sighs.

"okay... tell me tomorrow then!"

"yes ma'am."

— kaedehara. kazuha

kazuha and you sat side by side at your place with your backs against the bottom of your couch, your table in front of you two with cups filled half-way with alcohol and snacks.

today, was a day of relaxation and what good way than to have a couple drinks with your best friend? although kazuha didn't drink, just this once wouldn't hurt.

both you and kazuha shared a few drinks, and with each sip, your inhibitions loosened. after all the giggles, stories and drunken laughter exchanged, you and kazuha sat next to each other, exhausted.

you let your eyes close shut, resting your head on kazuha's shoulder. "ah... i think we drank too much." he spoke with his hand over his forehead.

your head began to hurt, probably because of the alcohol and for some odd reason right now felt like the perfect time to say something—anything.

"kazuha," you breathed, your words slightly slurred, "you know, i've always admired your free spirit. it's like you're one with the wind." you joked before letting out a small hiccup.

kazuha chuckled, his hand still remained on his forehead. "ah, but the wind can be unpredictable, my friend. sometimes it carries us to places we never imagined."

kazuha being kazuha no matter the cirumstances, always poetic.

you nodded, feeling a wave of nostalgia wash over you. "you're right. life is like a journey, isn't it? we never know where it'll take us."

"indeed. but it's the unexpected twists and turns that make it all worthwhile."

suddenlt, you couldn't help but laugh, feeling strangely connected to the elements in that moment when all of the sudden...

"kazuha," you said, a hint of seriousness creeping into your voice, "do you like anyone?"

at your question he lets his hand fall and looks over to his side, seeing that your head was now off his shoulder and... now so close to his face?

heat (not from the alcohol) rushed to his cheeks. kazuha thought for a few seconds about his answer, the very girl he liked was with him in that moment, place, time and sat right beside him.

"hm, yes. yes i do."

you took a deep breath, summoning the courage to speak your mind. "well—" you paused for a couple of seconds before continuing.

"well i like you! you're so kind, so poetic, romantic, your hair is really soft, and you.. you're so handsome.. everyday i see you i think to myself how can a man be so.. so.. so attractive!"

kazuha's smile softened as he placed a hand on top of your head, seemingly ruffling your hair.

"perhaps the wind has whispered secrets to you that even i haven't heard," he said, his voice gentle like a breeze. "i find myself drawn to you as well, in ways i can't quite explain."

your heart skipped a beat, a rush of emotion flooding through your body and mind.

"then let's see where the wind takes us," you replied, reaching out to intertwine my fingers with his. "together."

(apparently getting drunk meant getting cheesy as well)

— xiao

xiao and you found yourselves sitting next to each other, engrossed in the conversations with your friends. it was the after hours of work and all of your co-workers settled on a dinner night for the success of the project launch.

you were laughing with your friends, clinking cups that were filled with liquor. it was a fun and lively time compared to the usual energy-draining workplace.

everything would've been fine if it weren't for your mood slowly subsiding due to the fact that a random woman (that you assumed worked in the same building with you) was very clingy towards you.

xiao was drowning in his emotions. the amber liquid in his glass reflecting his gloomy face. he watched as the woman leaned in a bit too close to the person he fancied, her playful gestures slowly but surely fueled his jealousy.

with each careless touch and lingering gaze, xiao's heart sank deeper with envy, the alcohol coursing through his veins only amplified it.

as the night wore on, xiao became more intoxicated, his words slurred, his movements clumsy and he couldn't shake the gnawing feeling in his chest. half an hour later the celebration, came to an end much to xiao's relief.

everyone went their own way alone or with their friends and thankfully the woman had reluctantly gone home as well.

it was just you and him, sitting beside each other on the edge of the concrete path just a bit away from the restaurant, the distant chatter could barely be heard.

the silence was comfortable with neither of you speaking up. xiao enjoyed the little moments with you, especially now that he had you all to himself at the very moment.

"i ordered a taxi, xiao, we'll drop you off at your place first, is that okay?" you asked, breaking the silence. you looked over at xiao whose face was rather flushed and you could tell that he was fighting the urge to fall asleep on the spot.

to your surprise, xiao shook his head. "no. i'm the man, i should be the one to drop you off first..." at his response you chuckled and poked his cheeks (which he didn't enjoy much).

"well we can't do that, can we? you're drunk," you stated just in case he didn't know. he scoffed and looked over at you, his mind clouded with nothing but you. only you.

"i am not drunk."

"really... so if i asked you to walk in a straight line you'd ace it a hundred per cent?" xiao's brows furrowed at your words, you were obviously teasing him. "sure will." he responded with confidence.

you rolled your eyes at his words, muttering "whatever" before focusing on the ground now, not knowing what to say anymore.

"you know, that woman gives bad vibes." at his words you perked up, turning your head to look at him. "what woman?" you replied back. "the one that was flirting with you."

"SHE WAS FLIRTING WITH ME?" you gasped, eyes widening at his words. it all made sense!

xiao sighed, his eyes lowered down on the ground, face drooping... there was something on his mind.

you don't speak or try to ask him any questions, letting him speak at his own pace, carefully finding the right words to say.

"she was all over the entire time, she was flirting with you shamelessly! and i didn't do anything," his eyes averted away from the ground to his hands. "i couldn't do anything."

"i could tell you were uncomfortable, i really did want to help you, trust me.. but.. i couldn't. i..i don't know what stopped me. maybe because i thought that she was drunk and didn't mean it like that.. it's not like i'm your boyfriend or anything. i'm sure if you did they'd—"

"xiao."

the sound of his name stopped him in his tracks. did he ramble too much? maybe he said something that you didn't like...

you had noticed that his once jovial demeanour was now clouded by jealousy, he bared his heart to you, unable to contain his feelings.

"what are you trying to say?" you asked softly, eyes boring into his as if that would help you find the answer you were looking for.

xiao's lips part, just barely. his beautiful golden eyes staring right back at you. why was his heart beating so fast? why were you looking so tenderly at him? if you continued to stare at him like that he might just freak out and run away.

his mouth opened, about to answer when he stopped just before a word got out. shit. what if he said the wrong thing?

after a long pause, he speaks. "just stay away from her, she might hurt you.. if she does just come to me, okay?" he finished, his words full of genuineness.

you chuckle, the tension easing between you. "mhm, i know." you knew xiao had a hard time opening up about his feelings, but it never stopped you from trying, you knew he wanted to say more but couldn't, and that was just fine.

"now, let's wait for the taxi. hope it comes here before you start serenading the street lamps!" you laughed at the thought of xiao serenading and the looks he would get from the passersby's.

he playfully pushed you, after all his talk he was finally sobering up a little now. "yeah sure.."

— neuvillette

currently, you sit on the plush carpet of your best friend's elegantly furnished living room, a glass of wine in your hand, the flickering glow from the television casting soft shadows across the room. the movie plays on, but your mind is elsewhere, more so on the man beside you.

neuvillette sits close, yet not close enough to feel his warmth. his focus seems divided between the screen and the wine swirling gently in his glass.

you take a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart. the words you've been holding back for so long are on the tip of your tongue, and the moment feels right—intimate and serene.

“neuvillette,” you begin softly, your voice barely above a whisper, “can i tell you something?”

he turns his head to look at you, his eyes, deep and thoughtful, locking onto yours. “of course, anything.” he replies, his voice gentle and inviting.

you take a moment to gather your thoughts, feeling the weight of your confession now. “i’ve been wanting to tell you this for a while,” you continue.

“i… i have feelings for you. strong feelings," you pause.

"more than just friendship.”

the room falls into a heavy silence, the movie’s dialogue a distant murmur in the background. was it always so distant? neuvillette’s expression is unreadable as he processes your words. your heart pounds in your chest, your grip on the glass of wine tightening.

finally, he sets his glass down and reaches out, gently taking your hand in his. his touch is warm, his grip reassuring. “i had a feeling,” he says softly. “and I’m glad you told me. i care for you deeply as well.”

a sense of relief washes over you, and you squeeze his hand, a smile spreading across your face. “really?”

he nods, a rare smile touching his lips. “really. i’ve been wanting to say something too, but i didn’t want to rush you. i wanted to make sure it was the right moment.”

"was this the right moment?"

"other than the fact that you're drunk... i suppose so."

just are you were about to speak up again but neuvillette was quicker. "but first, are you sure you're not just mixing your feelings up? like i said you are drunk. you're sure you're positive?"

you nod your head at his words. he was so cute... all worried about you. you notice how his brows furrow, his eyes trained solely on you as if trying to read your face—trying to see if you were lying.

"... just for safe measure, we can talk about this next morning, alright?" his soft and gentle voice immediately reassures you.

"mhm." you lean into him, feeling the warmth of his body against yours, the movie forgotten. “i'm glad you feel the same way,” you whisper, your head resting on his shoulder.

neuvillette wraps an arm around you, pulling you closer. “so am i,” he murmurs, his voice a soothing melody.

— alhaitham

the sounds of the clinking of mugs and the hum of chatter. you and your friends were gathered around a large wooden table, the night progressing with laughter and singing. the fire cast a warm glow, adding to the cozy ambience.

you found yourself growing more bold with each sip of your drink, downing more shots than you had expected. across the table, alhaitham was engrossed in a conversation with a few others, his usual composed and thoughtful demeanour evident even in the casual setting.

you had always admired him from afar, his intelligence and quiet strength captivating you in many ways. you have had the biggest and the most obvious crush on him but no matter how hard you try to show him your love he never seemed to care or notice.

but tonight, the alcohol had taken over your body, and a surge of courage overtook your usual restraint.

without fully realizing it, you stood up, your chair scraping loudly against the wooden floor, drawing the attention of your friends and a few nearby customers. the sudden silence was almost palpable as you stared at alhaitham, your heart pounding in your chest.

your friends exchanged curious glances, their amusement and surprise evident in their wide eyes and expectant smiles. "what are they doing?" "about time she did something about her feelings!" "ouuu i'm worried, what if he rejects them?"

"alhaitham," you began, your voice a bit louder and more unsteady than you intended. he turned to you, his calm eyes meeting yours with mild curiosity. "i… i have something to tell you."

the entire table seemed to hold its breath, and you could feel the weight of everyone's gaze on you. your friends were gawking, their faces a mixture of shock and anticipation, clearly intrigued by your sudden boldness.

"i've admired you for so long," you continued, the words spilling out in a rush. "your intelligence, your strength, your kindness… i've fallen for you, alhaitham. i just couldn't keep it to myself any longer."

for a moment, there was stunned silence. you could feel your cheeks burning, a mixture of the alcohol and the intensity of the confession making your head spin. then, one of your friends let out a low whistle, breaking the silence and causing a ripple of laughter and murmurs among the group.

alhaitham's expression remained calm, though there was a flicker of surprise in his eyes. He stood up slowly, his gaze never leaving yours. "thank you for telling me," he said quietly, his voice steady and sincere. "let's talk about this somewhere more private."

with that, he gently took your arm, guiding you away from the table and the prying eyes of your friends. as you walked together toward a quieter corner of the tavern, you couldn't help but feel a mixture of relief and anxiety.

no matter what happened next, you had taken a leap, and in that moment, it felt like the bravest thing you had ever done.

as you reached a secluded corner of the tavern, alhaitham stopped, turning to face you. his hand slid down your arm, gentle but firm, his fingers lingering just long enough to ground you despite the haze of alcohol and nerves swirling in your mind. you barely dared to meet his eyes, but when you finally looked up, his expression was softer than you’d ever seen.

"are you alright?" he asked, his voice low, genuine concern threaded through it.

you let out a shaky laugh, brushing a hand through your hair in an attempt to pull yourself together. “honestly? i don’t know,” you admitted. “i didn’t… i didn’t plan to say that tonight.”

he tilted his head slightly, a hint of amusement breaking through his otherwise calm demeanor. “i can tell,” he murmured, his tone teasing but kind. “but… i’m glad you did.”

those words hung in the air, and you felt your heart stutter. his gaze held steady on yours, not a trace of judgment, only curiosity and something else—something you didn’t dare to name.

“you don’t have to say anything back,” you mumbled, feeling a mix of embarrassment and relief. “i didn’t mean to make things awkward between us, i just… well, i guess the truth has a funny way of slipping out after a few drinks.” you forced a laugh, though it came out more nervous than you intended.

alhaitham’s hand, still resting on your arm, gave the faintest squeeze. “you haven’t made anything awkward.” his voice was gentle, reassuring. “you’ve only been honest. and if i’m being honest…” he hesitated, as though weighing his words carefully. “i’ve been waiting for a moment like this. i just didn’t think it would happen in the middle of a crowded tavern.”

the warmth that spread through you was immediate, erasing the haze of doubt. his gaze softened, his eyes tracing your face as if memorizing each detail. “i’ve felt the same way for a while,” he continued, his tone growing even softer. “i just didn’t know if it was mutual, and i didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

you swallowed, feeling a surge of emotions you could barely process. “so… we’ve both been pining in secret this whole time?” you asked, a shy smile creeping onto your face.

he let out a quiet chuckle, nodding. “apparently.” his hand drifted down to take yours, his fingers interlocking with yours in a gentle but deliberate gesture. “and now that we’re here, maybe we don’t have to keep it a secret anymore.”

your heart skipped as he held your hand, his thumb grazing over your knuckles in a way that felt both comforting and thrilling. you looked up at him, the alcohol dulling your inhibitions enough to let you speak freely. “does this mean you’re going to take me out on a real date? no tavern, no group of friends watching us like a spectacle?”

alhaitham’s eyes gleamed with a hint of amusement. “oh, absolutely. a proper date,” he agreed, his voice soft but firm. “somewhere quiet, just us.” he paused, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “if that’s what you want?”

you nodded, feeling the weight of his words settle warmly in your chest. “yes,” you whispered, barely trusting your voice.

the quiet that fell between you was no longer filled with tension or fear. alhaitham’s gaze lingered, a silent promise in his eyes, and when he finally spoke again, his words sent a thrill through you.

“then i’ll make sure it’s unforgettable,” he murmured, his hand tightening around yours just a bit.

— childe

you’d both had a few too many, the tavern buzzing with energy as laughter and music filled the air. childe sat across from you, cheeks flushed from the alcohol, a playful grin plastered across his face. it was rare to see him unwind like this, his usual deadly focus replaced with an almost boyish charm that made your heart beat a little faster.

“you know,” he drawled, leaning across the table with a mischievous glint in his eyes, “i don’t think i’ve ever told you how i feel about you.”

you chuckled, brushing it off as just another one of his flirtatious jokes. “oh really? well, i’m sure i’m in for quite the confession,” you teased, taking another sip of your drink.

but childe’s expression only grew more earnest, his hand reaching out to brush a stray lock of hair from your face. “i mean it,” he said, his voice dropping to a softer tone that somehow cut through the tavern’s noise. “i’ve thought about it for a long time. i think i’m in love with you.”

you burst out laughing, giving him a playful nudge. “oh, please, childe. that’s the alcohol talking.”

he blinked, looking a little taken aback, but then a wide smile spread across his face. “you think i’m joking, huh?” he asked, leaning even closer. “you think i’m just messing around?”

“of course you are!” you replied, laughing. “come on, mr. ‘harbinger-of-the-fatui,’ confessing his undying love in a random tavern? yeah, right!”

but something in his expression shifted then, the playful look fading as he stared at you, his eyes unusually intense. he leaned back slightly, his fingers tracing idle patterns on his glass, and when he looked back up, his smile was softer, more vulnerable. “i’m not kidding, you know,” he said, his voice low and serious. “i really am in love with you.”

his words hung in the air, suddenly sobering. you felt the weight behind them, the sincerity in his gaze that caught you off-guard. gone was the playful, teasing childe; he looked at you now as if you were the only person in the room, his gaze unwavering, his usual confidence replaced by something quieter, almost hesitant.

“look, i know i joke around a lot,” he continued, his hand fidgeting slightly. “maybe i flirt too much, and maybe that’s why you don’t believe me. but… this? this is real.” he paused, as if trying to find the right words. “i don’t let just anyone close, but with you… it’s different.”

you stared at him, still reeling, your heart beating faster with each word. he was serious—more serious than you’d ever seen him. the realization hit you like a wave, the weight of his confession settling over you, making it hard to breathe.

“childe…” you began, searching his face for any hint of his usual teasing, but there was none. only a raw honesty, his vulnerability laid bare.

“you don’t have to say anything,” he murmured, looking away briefly before meeting your gaze again. “i just needed you to know. i know it sounds crazy, and i know you probably have a million reasons not to take me seriously.” he gave a small, nervous laugh, his fingers brushing against yours on the table. “but i wanted to be honest with you. because you… you’re different. you’re someone i’d be willing to give everything for.”

his fingers tightened around yours, a gentle but firm grip that sent a shiver down your spine. his eyes searched yours, as if hoping for some sign that you felt the same, and in that moment, you couldn’t deny the spark that had always lingered between you, even if you’d always chalked it up to his flirtatious nature.

after a beat, you gave his hand a squeeze, your own voice coming out as a soft whisper. “i… didn’t realize you felt that way. i thought… well, i thought you were just being childe.”

he chuckled, a hint of his usual playfulness returning, though his gaze remained steady. “guess i have to step up my game, then,” he murmured, a smile tugging at his lips. “because for you? i’d give up all the games.”

[toptenpeeps]

Something I find really interesting about the mouthwashing (game) fandom is how much unfiltered love Daisuke receives from the fandom.

I don’t think I’ve even seen a character so universally loved by everyone that I haven’t seen a single negative thing about them, like at all. It’s so fascinating to me because Daisuke’s fatal flaw was that he was a people pleaser, one that was so desperate to please it quite literally killed him. He so desperately wanted to be liked by the people around him that he was willing to sacrifice his comfort, morals, and safety in order to get the approval of someone that didn’t even seem to care that deeply about him overall.

And to have that character not only be the most well liked, but to be considered one of the most loved is such an ironic twist. Because that fact is if anyone who had played the game was in the ship, Daisuke most likely would have gotten what he wanted. He would have had someone that cared for him deeply, someone who was willing to tell him that he was someone they were proud of, someone willing to be honest and kind to him.

While Swansea and Anya most definitely cared for Daisuke, neither of them had the time or methods to give Daisuke the care he truly wanted. I don’t blame them, the situation at hand made it so they were dealing with bigger issues, and Jackass definitely didn’t make anything better. Anya couldn’t give Daisuke the care and support he wanted because she was to stressed and afraid to focus on him, Swansea was too depressed and hopeless to be able to tell Daisuke in those moments that he was honestly proud of him. If they had gotten off the ship and were given enough time to heal, they probably would have been able to give out that care and affection to each other easily.

That’s just it though. Daisuke was never able to get the care he wanted, because he tried to get it from someone that was using that desperation to save himself from danger. Had Daisuke put his foot down, refused to listen, decided he wouldn’t please someone in this moment, he most likely would have survived. That’s where the tragedy really strikes, the fact that Daisuke died purely because he was an unlucky kid that wanted to please the people around him really twists the knife. With the icing on the top of this horrific cake being that the care he blatantly sacrificed himself for was only given to him in his very last moments, when there was no possible way for him to recover.

Then to have that character, one that only got a glimpse of that care they craved, be the overall most loved. It feels like the fandom itself is trying to make up for the lost care, to unabashedly drown Daisuke in love as a way to make up for how little he got in the end. Daisuke is called “a useless ray of goddamn sunshine” by Swansea, with many fans repeating this idea, minus the useless part. That idea, the idea that people could care so deeply about someone, to compare them to a piece of the sun and desperately try to keep their light going after they’ve been snuffed out, that was ultimately the very thing Daisuke died for.

Sorry if this wasn’t accurate, it was already way to long for my taste, I just wanted to rant about Daisuke from the hit game Mouthwashing :P

TL;DR - Daisuke Mouthwashing was fighting for his life for some care that he only got when he was fucking dying, interesting that the fandom’s reaction to such a character was to immediately care about them a lot.

[lostfracturess]

LAST DECEMBER MORNING — SATORU GOJO

pairing — satoru gojo x sorcerer!reader

summary — on a frost-bitten december morning, you watch satoru gojo prepare for his fated battle with sukuna with infuriating calm, like he isn't planning to sacrifice himself for the greater good. you've spent years being his secret, clearing battlefields for him and stealing kisses between missions, but now you're faced with the most brutal truth. that sometimes the cruelest curse isn't the one that kills you — it's loving someone who belongs to the world before they belong to you.

word count — 5.4 k

warnings — heavy angst, hurt/no comfort, mentions of blood and violence, implied death, unhealthy relationship, sad ending

author's note — this has been rotting in my drafts since the final jjk chapter dropped, and i finally dragged it out into the light bc i'm procrastinating uni. fair warning, this is pure angst with zero comfort, just two people breaking each other's hearts because sometimes love isn't enough. anywayys, happy reading <3

masterlist

Winter had never felt so much like an ending.

You watched frost creep across the windows of your shared apartment, each crystalline pattern forming like cracks in glass, spreading slowly but inevitably.

Outside, the world lay hushed under winter's blanket, everything soft and serene. Birds traced lazy patterns against a sky so blue it hurt to look at, and fresh snow made everything clean and new.

It was the kind of morning that belonged in fairy tales, the kind poets write about when they want to capture peace in words. Strange, how you'd never imagined death would choose such a beautiful day.

You watched Satoru move through his routine, each gesture precise and unhurried. White hair caught the pale sunlight as he smoothed it back, his reflection in the mirror handsome as ever before he adjusted his clothes, and put on his blindfold.

You'd watched him prepare for countless missions before, but this felt different. This felt final.

The normality of it all was almost cruel — how he could stand there, getting ready like this was just another day, just another fight. Like the sun wasn't rising on what could be your last morning together.

The clock on the wall ticked steadily forward, each second falling like a stone into still water. Time felt strange, both rushing too fast and moving too slow. You wanted to grab the clock's hands, force them to stop, to give you just a few more moments in this morning that felt like borrowed time.

"You're staring," he said without turning around, a slight smile playing at his lips.

"Can you blame me?" You were curled up in the window seat, tea growing cold in your hands. "It's not every day your— whatever we are goes to fight the King of Curses."

He turned then, and even through the blindfold, you could feel the weight of his gaze. "Whatever we are?" There was amusement in his tone. "After all this time, you still don't know what we are?"

"Well, we're not exactly big on labels," you pointed out, trying to keep your voice light despite the heaviness in your chest. "Secret relationship and all that."

"Ah, but that's what makes it fun, isn't it?" He crossed the room to where you sat, reaching out to brush a strand of hair from your face. "The sneaking around, the secret meetings—"

"Satoru." You caught his hand. "How are you so calm about this?"

He tilted his head, considering. "Would you prefer if I was panicking?"

"I'd prefer if you showed any emotion at all about the fact that you're about to fight Sukuna." You stood up, setting your tea aside. "You've been acting like this is just another day, just another fight, but it's not. You know it's not."

"I think I've shown plenty of emotion," he said, pulling you closer with a playful smile. "Just last night, if I recall—"

"Don't." You pressed a hand against his chest, keeping him at arm's length. "Don't deflect. Not today."

The smile faded from his face, replaced by something more serious. "What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to tell me why you're so calm. I want you to tell me why you're not worried." Your voice cracked slightly, but you pushed on. "I want you to tell me why it feels like you're saying goodbye."

He was quiet for a long moment, his thumb tracing patterns on your wrist where he still held it. Finally, he spoke, his voice softer than before. "The world needs to move forward. It needs to find someone stronger."

"What are you talking about?" You pulled back slightly. "You're the strongest there is."

"Am I?" His smile was gentle, almost sad. "Or is that just what everyone needs to believe?"

"Satoru—"

"The world has relied on me for too long," he continued. "They've made me their symbol, their savior, their stupid hero. But what happens when I'm gone? Who protects them then?"

"You're not going anywhere," you said. "You're going to win. You always win."

He cupped your face in his hands, thumbs brushing your cheekbones. "Sometimes winning isn't about surviving. Sometimes it's about making sure what comes after is better than what came before."

"That's not funny."

"I'm not trying to be funny." He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against yours. "I'm trying to tell you that whatever happens today, the world will keep turning. It will find new leaders, new protectors. Maybe even better ones."

"I don't want new protectors," you whispered. "I want you."

"Ah, but you've always had me," he said softly. "Ever since that first mission together, when you told me my head was too big to fit through doorways. Do you remember?"

You huffed. "You were showing off, making everything more complicated than it needed to be."

"I was trying to impress you."

"You're always trying to impress me."

"But it's working, right?"

You pressed closer to him, breathing in his familiar scent. "You know it is, you idiot."

He wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight against his chest. For a moment, you both stood there in silence, listening to each other's heartbeats. The familiar rhythm brought back memories of how this all began, of the first time you'd been close enough to hear his heart race.

For loving Satoru Gojo had always been the most beautiful and dangerous thing in your world.

It started in blood, as most things in your world did. A mission gone wrong, cursed spirits thick in the air, the metallic taste of death sharp on your tongue. You’d seen him fight before—who hadn’t?

But that night was different. That night, you saw him bleed.

A special-grade curse caught you both off guard. One moment, he fought three curses at once like some untouchable god, and the next, he was crashing through three buildings, blood gushing from his mouth.

Something in your chest cracked at the sight — not from the impact of being thrown back yourself, but from seeing him, the strongest sorcerer alive, look so terrifyingly human.

You remembered how his blindfold had been torn, those devastating blue eyes meeting yours across the wreckage. Blood trickled down his chin, his usually perfect hair matted with debris, and yet he smiled. That damn smile that made your heart stutter even as cursed spirits attacked you from all sides.

“Trying to steal my spotlight?” he’d joked, wiping blood from his lips as he stood. “I’m the only one allowed to look cool here.”

You wanted to strangle him. You wanted to kiss him. You wanted to scream at him for making jokes when he could have died. You did none of those things. Instead, you cleared the area, giving him the perfect opening he needed to obliterate the special grade.

Later, after the dust had settled and the reports had been filed, he cornered you in the darkened hallway of Jujutsu High.

“You’re angry,” he said, not a question but a statement.

“I’m not angry.” You were furious. “I’m just wondering how someone who’s supposed to be the strongest can be so fucking reckless.”

He stepped closer, backing you against the wall. “Worried about me?”

“You wish.” But your voice shook, betraying you. Because you had been worried. Terrified, actually. The image of him lying in that wreckage, blood staining his white hair red, had burned itself into your mind.

“Liar,” he whispered, and then his lips were on yours.

Everything they said about Satoru Gojo was true — he was overwhelming, all-consuming, impossible to resist. Kissing him felt like being struck by lightning, like being unmade and remade in the space between heartbeats. You broke apart, both breathing hard, and reality came crashing back.

“Fuck,” you summarized eloquently.

He laughed, the sound low and rich. “That could be arranged.”

“Satoru.” You pressed a hand against his chest, feeling his heart race under your palm. “We can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re you. Because I’m me. Because there are a thousand reasons why this is a terrible idea.”

“I’m only hearing excuses.” He caught your hand, pressing a kiss to your palm. “Not actual reasons.”

And that was how it started — with blood and curses and kisses in dark hallways. With terrible ideas that felt too good to resist.

Keeping it secret was both easier and harder than you expected. Easier because everyone already knew how Satoru was — flirtatious, tactile, always pushing boundaries. No one questioned when he draped himself over your desk during meetings or appeared uninvited in your office and stayed for hours.

Harder because every moment felt like a lie of omission. Harder because you had to watch him walk into danger again and again, had to maintain professional distance when all you wanted was to grab him and never let go.

You stole moments where you could find them. Quick kisses in empty classrooms, heated encounters between missions, quiet nights in your apartment when the world thought he was somewhere else entirely.

It ate at you sometimes. Not because you wanted to announce it to the world, but because each moment felt borrowed, stolen from a future you might never have.

Every time he left for a mission, every time he faced another curse, you wondered if this would be it. If this would be the time your last memory of him would be a secret smile across a meeting room, a cryptic message that no one else understood. But then he’d come back, always with that insufferable smile, usually with some ridiculous story about how amazing he’d been.

He’d find ways to touch you in public that looked casual — a hand at the small of your back during briefings, fingers brushing as he passed you documents, his body angled toward yours in crowded rooms like a sunflower seeking light.

And the worst part? The absolute worst part was how good he was at pretending. How easily he maintained his public persona — the untouchable, unbeatable Satoru Gojo, who flirted with everyone and meant it with no one.

Sometimes you’d catch him looking at you in meetings with the same expression he gave everyone else, and for a moment, you’d wonder if you’d imagined everything between you.

But then night would fall, and he’d show up at your door with takeout and that soft smile he saved just for you. He’d kiss you like he was trying to apologize for every moment he had to pretend you were nothing special, like he was trying to prove that this, the two of you, was the only real thing in his world.

You never talked about the future. How could you? In your line of work, tomorrow was never guaranteed. Each mission could be your last, each kiss could be your goodbye. The closest you ever came to acknowledging it was in the desperate way he’d hold you after a close call, in the way you’d trace his features in the dark like you were trying to memorize them by touch.

Some nights, when sleep eluded you both, he’d tell you about the weight of being the strongest, about the exhaustion of being everyone’s last hope.

He’d whisper his fears into your skin — not of death or defeat, but of failing those who believed in him. Those were the moments when the great Satoru Gojo disappeared, leaving just Satoru, just a man who carried the world on his shoulders and made it look easy.

You lived for those moments. The quiet ones, the real ones, the ones where he wasn’t the strongest sorcerer alive but just yours. Just as you were his.

You carved out your own little infinity in the spaces between battles and duties. A secret world where his laugh wasn’t for show, where your touch wasn’t professional, where you could just be the two of you without the weight of expectations and reputations.

But infinity, as it turned out, had limits. Even his.

Looking at him now, preparing to face Sukuna with that same causality he brought to everything, you wondered if this was how your story was always meant to end. If all those stolen moments were just preparing you for this — one last morning, one last smile, one last chance to pretend tomorrow might come.

The world needed someone stronger, he said. But you needed him. And maybe that was the cruelest curse of all — loving someone the world needed more than you did.

"Promise me something," you said then.

"Hmm?"

"Promise me you won't just give up. Promise me you'll fight to come back."

He pulled back slightly, reaching up to remove his blindfold. His striking blue eyes met yours, intense and clear.

"I promise," he said, "that everything I do today will be for a better tomorrow."

"That's not what I asked."

"It's the only promise I can make."

"Stop." Your voice turned sharp, anger finally breaking through. "Stop talking about tomorrow. Stop talking about the future and the next generation and whatever noble sacrifice you think you need to make. I don't care about any of that."

"Don't you?"

"No, I don't." You grabbed his jacket, fingers twisting in the fabric. "I don't care if the world needs someone stronger. I don't care if the next generation needs to step up. I care about you, you impossible man. I want you here, alive, with me. Is that so wrong? Am I not allowed to be selfish when it comes to you?"

"Huh." He caught your hands in his, but didn't pull them away from his jacket. "And here I thought you understood me better than anyone."

"Don't." You tried to pull away, but he held firm. "Don't you dare try to make this about understanding. I understand perfectly. But you're wrong. You don't have to do this."

His smile faltered slightly. "It's not that simple."

"It is that simple!" Your voice cracked. "You're choosing to make it complicated. You're choosing to walk away, to... to what? Make some grand statement about the future? Prove that the world can survive without the great Satoru Gojo?"

"Someone has to."

"But why does it have to be you?" The words burst out of you, raw and desperate. "Why do you have to be the one to show them? Why can't you just fight to win, to live, to come back to—" You cut yourself off, biting back the words that wanted to follow.

"To you?" he finished softly.

"Yes," you said, dropping your forehead against his chest. "To me. Call me selfish, call me short-sighted, I don't care. I want more mornings like this. More everything. More of you, being insufferably calm and making terrible jokes and acting like the world isn't ending when we both know it might be."

He was quiet for a moment, one hand coming up to cradle the back of your head. When he spoke, his voice was gentler than before.

"I can't promise to come back." He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "But know this, every moment with you has been worth fighting for. Worth living for."

You pulled back enough to look at him, really look at him. "Then fight for more moments. Fight to make more memories. Fight to come back to me, not for some greater purpose or stupid sacrifice, but because you want to."

"And if I told you that wanting isn't enough?"

"Then I'd call you a liar." Your voice turned cold. "Because you're Satoru fucking Gojo. When has anything ever been impossible for you? When have you ever let anyone tell you what you can't do?"

​​"This is different—"

"How? How is this different? Because it's Sukuna? Because it's the fate of jujutsu society? Or because you've already decided how this story ends?"

His hands tightened on you, and for a moment, just a moment, you saw something flicker behind those blue eyes — doubt, fear, longing, you couldn't tell. But then it was gone, replaced by that same calm certainty that made you want to scream.

"Because I can't protect everyone—can't protect you if I allow myself to believe in a tomorrow," he whispered.

The gentleness in his voice, the soft way he delivered words meant to cut, made you want to tear the world apart. It was so perfectly Satoru — to break your heart like he was doing you a favor, to wound you with a tenderness that felt more cruel than any violence could be.

"I never asked you to protect me," you said finally. "I asked you to stay. There's a difference."

"Is there?" His hand came up to cup your face, shaking ever so slightly, betraying the calm he fought so hard to maintain. "Because every time I look at you, all I can think about is how many people would use you to get to me. How many would hurt you just to prove they could touch something I care about."

"So your solution is to what? Die nobly? Make sure there's nothing left for them to use against you?"

"My solution is to make sure the world doesn't need me anymore." His thumb brushed across your cheek, catching a tear you hadn't realized had fallen. "To make sure you don't need me anymore."

"That's not your choice to make. You don't get to decide what I need. You don't get to martyr yourself for some greater good and pretend it's for my protection."

"Then what would you have me do?" For the first time, there was a hint of frustration in his voice. "Ignore my responsibilities? Pretend I'm not who I am?"

"I would have you fight like you want to come back!" The words ripped from your throat. "Fight like there's someone waiting for you after. Fight like you love me as much as I love you!"

The confession rang out between you, and the moment it left your lips, you realized you'd never said it before. Through all the stolen moments, all the secret touches, all the nights you'd spent memorizing each other's bodies — you'd never actually spoken those words aloud.

You'd both danced around it, implied it in every action, every look, every unfinished sentence, but neither of you had ever dared to make it real with words.

Until now. Until you were angry enough, desperate enough, terrified enough to let it slip from your heart straight past your defenses.

"Love?" His voice was barely a whisper.

"Of course I love you, you idiot." Your voice equally quiet. "Why else would I be standing here, begging the strongest sorcerer alive to be selfish just once?”

He made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sigh, maybe a sob, his fingers tightening on you. "Don't," he whispered, and for the first time that morning, his voice was shaking. "Don't make this harder than it already is. Don't say things that make me want to—" He cut himself off, jaw clenching. "That make me want impossible things."

"Impossible? Since when does Satoru Gojo believe in impossible?"

"Since I realized loving you means putting you at risk." His thumb brushed your cheek, the gesture achingly gentle. "Since I understood that staying alive isn't the same as keeping you safe."

"I hate this." You shook your head. "I hate how calmly you can stand here and talk about sacrifice like it's inevitable. Like there's no other way."

"Would you prefer if I fell apart?" His smile turned sad. "If I raged and cried and promised things I might not be able to keep?"

"Yes," you admitted, your hands coming up to cover his where they still held your face. "Because at least then I'd know you want to stay as much as I want you to."

"Oh, my love." The endearment fell from his lips like a confession. "Wanting to stay has never been the question. The question is whether I can live with myself if I do."

"And what about whether I can live with myself if you don't?" Your voice broke. "What about whether I can forgive myself for not fighting harder to make you stay?"

"This isn't your fight."

"Like hell it isn't." You pulled back. "You think I spent months learning to clear battlefields just so you could take center stage? You think I perfected my technique to complement your infinity because I had nothing better to do?" You dug your nails into your palms, throat tight with fury. "I've been fighting alongside you since before you ever kissed me in that hallway. Before you ever decided I was worth protecting. Don't you dare tell me this isn't my fight when I've spent years making sure you had the space you needed to be great."

He was quiet for a long moment, studying you. When he finally spoke, his voice was soft, almost reverent. "And that's exactly why I need to go. The world doesn't need more people making space for me. It needs people who'll fill that space themselves."

You recoiled like he'd slapped you, hurt burning in your chest. "Is that what you think I've been doing? Making myself smaller for you? Made space for you because I was afraid to reach higher?" You stepped closer, deadly calm now. "I made space for you because that's what you do when you love someone."

His lips twitched into a smile. "So you do understand me."

"Don't pretend those are the same thing."

He was quiet for a moment. Then, instead of answering, he pulled you into a kiss that tasted like goodbye. Like all the tomorrows you'd never have, all the moments you'd never share, all the promises neither of you could keep. You kissed him back with everything you had — all your fury and fear and love condensed into this one perfect, terrible moment.

His hands tangled in your hair like he was trying to memorize the feeling, yours gripping his jacket as if you could keep him here through sheer force of will. When you finally broke apart, hearts pounding, foreheads pressed together in the space between one heartbeat and the next.

"I'll hate you," you whispered against his lips. "If you don't come back, I'll hate you for the rest of my life."

He pulled back just enough to look at you, and for once, his smile held an edge of something raw, something that looked almost like pain. "No, you won't."

"I will." Your fingers tightened in his jacket. "I'll hate you for making me fall in love with someone who was always planning to leave. I'll hate you for every morning I wake up alone, for every mission briefing where someone else stands in your place, for every year I have to leave flowers on your grave."

"You'll move on. You'll find someone—"

"Fuck you," you cut him off, the words sharp enough to draw blood. "Don't you dare tell me how I'll feel. Don't you dare stand here and plan out my future without you in it."

"I'm just trying to—"

"To what? Prepare me? Make it easier? There's nothing easy about loving you, Satoru Gojo. There never has been. But I chose it anyway. Every day, knowing this moment would come."

"What do you want me to do? Do you want me to say goodbye? Make it messy and painful and real?"

"I want you to stop pretending this is just another mission and show me something that tells me this is killing you like it's killing me."

The silence stretched between you like a chasm. For just a moment, beneath his careful composure, you caught a glimpse of the man behind the name — vulnerable, conflicted, maybe even afraid. But he buried it quickly, like he buried everything that might make him waver from his chosen path.

You'd always known this about him, hadn't you? Known it from that first bloody mission, from every fight where he'd put himself between the world and destruction.

Satoru Gojo was a man built for sacrifice, shaped by duty and power into something that could never truly belong to just one person. You'd fallen in love with him anyway, foolishly hoping that maybe love could be enough to make him choose differently.

But watching him now, seeing the gentle finality in every movement, you understood with crushing clarity that this was always how it would end. No amount of pleading or anger or love could change what he'd already decided.

He'd made his choice long before this morning, probably before he'd ever kissed you in that darkened hallway.

"Keep the tea warm for me," he said finally, stepping back. The words were casual, almost playful — exactly the kind of thing he'd say on any other morning. But that's what made it cruel. Even now, he was trying to soften the blow, pretending this was just another goodbye, just another mission.

You didn't say anything as he walked to the door. Didn't wish him luck or tell him to be safe. The time for those platitudes had passed.

Instead, you watched him pause in the doorway, his hand resting on the frame. For a moment, you thought he might turn around, might drop the act and let you see something real. One last true moment before the end.

He didn't fully turn, but his voice carried back to you, soft and achingly sincere. "I love you. More than anything." A pause. "That's why I have to go."

The words hit you like a physical blow, knocking the air from your lungs. You'd never expected them, had made peace with the silence between heartbeats where those words should have lived.

You'd imagined them differently, in all the quiet moments you'd shared — whispered against your skin in the dark, laughed into your mouth between kisses, murmured sleepily on lazy mornings. Not like this. Never like this.

How cruel, that he would finally say them now, when they felt more like a funeral rite than a confession. A parting gift from a man walking towards his own chosen end, making what should have been beautiful feel like another wound. The words you'd never dared hope for now hurt more than a lifetime of silence ever could.

Your throat burned with all the things you wanted to scream at him — about how love should mean staying, about how he was breaking your heart while trying to save it, about how dare he make those words sound like goodbye when they should have been a beginning.

"I hate you," you whispered.

He made a sound that might have been a laugh or might have been something more broken. "No, you don't." The certainty in his voice felt like another wound. "You love me. You said so yourself."

"I'll hate you." Your voice hardened with each word. "I'll hate you so much it'll make you wish you'd stayed."

His hand tightened on the doorframe, knuckles white with tension. For a heartbeat, you thought you'd finally cracked his composure. That he might turn around and choose you over duty, love over destiny.

He didn't.

The door closed behind him with a soft click that sounded like an ending.

"But I'll wait for you anyway," you whispered to the empty room, hating yourself for the truth in those words.

The truth was, you'd always known it would end like this, known that loving Satoru Gojo meant loving someone who belonged to the world before he belonged to you.

But you'd been naive enough to hope. Foolish enough to think that maybe, just maybe, love could be enough to make him choose differently. That your selfish desire to keep him alive and whole could outweigh his selfless need to reshape the world.

The morning light cut across the empty room, highlighting the space where he'd stood moments before, and you wondered about the cruelty of it all.

Was it wrong to want to keep him here? To ask the strongest sorcerer alive to choose personal happiness over humanity's future? How many would suffer because you'd asked him to be selfish just this once?

But then again, how many had already been saved by him? How many times had he bled and broken and pieced himself back together for a world that only saw him as a shield, never as a man? Didn't he deserve the chance to live for himself, just once?

If love died today, buried six feet under noble intentions and greater goods, then maybe hate was all you had left. And wasn't there something pure in that? In hating him with the same intensity you'd loved him? In letting that hate fill the spaces he left behind, burning away the softness until all that remained was sharp edges and bitter truths?

The world needed Satoru Gojo the symbol, the untouchable god of jujutsu. But you'd needed Satoru, just Satoru, the man who brought you tea exactly how you liked it and kissed you like you were his everything. The man who was walking away, leaving you with nothing but memories and the taste of hate on your tongue.

Was it selfish to think your love was worth more than the world's need? Was it cruel to measure the weight of one heart against humanity's future?

Love and duty were never meant to be weighed against each other like this, weren't meant to be choices that tore a person in two. And perhaps that was the real tragedy — not that he was walking away, but that you'd let yourself believe he wouldn't.

You'd known how this story would end from that very first kiss. Had tasted it in every goodbye before a mission, felt it every time you waited anxiously for his return, seen it lurking behind every smile that never quite reached his eyes.

Loving Satoru Gojo meant loving someone who was always meant to be sacrificed. You'd just been naive enough to think sacrifice could look different, that it didn't have to end with you here, choking on love turned to ash in your mouth.

Your fingers traced your lips where those three words still lingered like a curse. The tea was getting cold on the windowsill. You should pour it out, make a fresh cup. Should start preparing for a world where Satoru Gojo was just a memory, a legend, a story of sacrifice and strength. Should learn how to breathe around the thorns growing in your chest where love used to live.

Instead, you stayed frozen, caught in the space between what was and what could have been. Because maybe he was wrong. Maybe the world didn't need someone stronger. Maybe it just needed him to come back. You certainly did.

But it was too late for maybes now. He was already gone, walking toward a destiny he'd chosen long before he'd chosen you. And you were left here, caught between hating him for leaving and loving him for exactly who he was — a man who would always choose the greater good, even when it shattered both your hearts.

But perhaps the cruelest irony was that in trying to protect humanity, he'd forgotten he was human too. That in becoming everyone's shield, he'd forgotten shields could break. That hearts could break. That yours was breaking.

The sun climbed higher in the sky, indifferent to your pain, indifferent to the way your world had just walked out the door with a smile and a promise he might not be able to keep.

You'd wait anyway. Even knowing how the story was meant to end, you'd wait. Because that's what love was — not just the beautiful parts, but the ugly parts too. The waiting. The hoping. The hating.

The choosing to love someone even when they choose something else. Even when that love turns to poison in your veins.

Even when they choose the world over you.

The tea had long gone cold when you finally moved, muscles stiff from standing still for so long. You'd sworn you wouldn't watch. Had promised yourself you wouldn't be there to see him die for his greater tomorrow.

But your hands were already reaching for your jacket.

Because that was the thing about loving Satoru Gojo — even when it turned to hate, even when it felt like acid in your throat, you couldn't look away. You'd watch him fight Sukuna. Watch him smile that infuriating smile as he chose the world one last time.

After all, you'd already promised to hate him if he didn't come back.

The least you could do was be there to keep that promise.

author's note — thank you for reading this little piece of heartbreak. i was very unsure if it will ever see the light of day but i finished it now bc i was in the mood for pain. if you enjoyed, i would greatly appreciate a reblog or comment. hope your heart isn't too broken <3

ps: if you want to get notifications for future updates, you can join my taglist here!

tags — @fayuki @starmapz @saurondriell @starlightanyaaa @sxnkuna

@cocomanga @nanamis-baker @rosso-seta @shervinss @chiyokoemilia

@janbannan @bloopsstuff

© lostfracturess. do not repost, translate, or copy my work.

[zarathelonewolf]

Some people need to write in this absence of courage though, and purely because of it, and purely FOR it.

Not to say that I don't get your point: it is a good point and I would like to see more hopeful dark stories, stories similar to what you prefer. I would prefer them too, ideally.

However sometimes people really do not have the courage to "want something better, to know that it was wrong"... Because to THEM (and I say this as someone who is similar to them to an extent, though I fight everyday to be hopeful) it does not seem like an act of courage, it seems like an act of insolence.

Why insolence? Because of a lot of things.

"How dare you (general you, not you, OP) want something better? The result of what was done for you is a negative thing that pushes you to do negative things, how dare you think that you should want something better?"

This is the insolence I speak of. The insolence they think they are culpable of. Sometimes people really do need to show the trauma "bare". They need to write out the negative voice. It's what they know and they feel isolated because people keep telling them it'll get better but they are not there yet, so they want to show their frustration. They may want to reject the idea of not taking up space, alternatively, when they show their trauma: so they show it in a gritty manner and without solution to spite the people that tell them they should just keep it all in unless they have healed, or unless they have the intention of doing so.

It may not be hopeful dark art, that's true. But that's not what dark stories HAVE TO be in order to be "good art", either. They don't want to fix something. They just want to show it. They are "vent art".

And it is needed. By people that don't have the "courage" yet, that maybe won't ever have that courage. They need to see something other than their mind crumble... something other than their body, something other than their voice, something other than their memory while it's crumbling. They need to see a story that crumbles without getting back up. That way they feel less alone, perhaps. They feel that the suffering is real and that it does not need healing to be considered suffering. Especially when others interact with the story and cry alongside them while in a similar situation.

A weird broken sort of solace so to speak.

Is it nice? No, not really. But in certain moments of people's lives it's what they need. In a twisted sense, for some people, all they will ever want to experience. It's not just insolence after all. For certain people, darkness itself is the refuge, because the world outside is too bright and a lot people want to be rid of their dark thoughts and want the victims themselves to be rid of the dark thoughts and find a solution for them, whereas these victims just CAN'T, they can't manage yet and they feel inadequate so they produce something that makes them feel like they matter for something.

Something dark and gritty and hopeless.

Art isn't good due to the fact that it expresses correct values. Art is good because it makes you feel, or merely because you feel drawn to interacting with it. Same goes for dark art. It is good dark art when it makes you feel dark stuff, whether or not it heads towards a good or bad ending.

I say this as someone who is hopeless about herself and himself and hopeful for others. Weird right? But it's how I exist. People's comfort sometimes makes me feel even lonelier. I would prefer silence and reading dark content AND hurt/comfort most of the time.

I come from a place of being pressured into healing. I want to heal on my own now, I don't trust therapists for shit. I will find my hope but not now. And dark content with hopelessness, vent art done purely for the vent and not for the healing helps me immensely because I feel my resistance to healing seen without someone telling me that I can heal because I know I CAN, I just don't want to because people have all sorts of expectations about how my healing should be, but while people can object to my healing not really being healing, they can hardly disagree that the dark stuff I write isn't dark. At least in my experience.

People have differing types of sensitivity, and not all people who are lovers love themselves. Love doesn't have to be total, not all people experience it like that. Sensitivity does not have to make you like dark hopeless stories, but it does not mean you are sensitive only if you prefer hopeful stories OR when you reject completely dark stories. People can be "lovers" and sensitive in all three of cases. So I agree about being frustrated for people saying "you're not sensitive enough" because that's not true, your sensitivity simply differs from theirs.

Vent art can be self care just as much as hopeful art. And dark content does not have to be vent art, it can also just want to make people witness gross stuff because they enjoy gross stuff being depicted for the sake of it (to make an example: people with certain laraphilias that cannot be explored safely in real life).

I am merely playing devil's advocate, with the devil being something I love: my only chance at venting without feeling pressured into a reaction. So I will concede this exposition may seem personal, almost too personal, and angry, but I tend to be passionate about the things I love.

I hope I didn't anger people with my response to this. But then again, I should take up space more often...

too much to say in a post but i re-read (partly skimmed) my manuscript of my book from a year and a half ago and it's so fucking good and also feels like a hemisphere of my brain has been returned to me. like oh yeah. my creative self. the fullness of my being. i missed you

i need to fucking talk about it but it's intimidating

[gelu-the-babosa-multiversal]

The idea of Heatwave being a Wavewave sparkling but mainly from Soundwave tears me up. So I'll submit you all to my PAIN!!!

The idea of Soundwave growing up in the pits, fighting for his life, becoming a top gladiator but still being seen as the lowest of the lowest, but then, this Sparkling appears in his life. A little red bot who seemingly was abandoned or was not picked when it emerged from the All Spark.

That being their first meeting, Soundwave was not yet the Soundwave we know so he didn't know what to do. His best hope was that the little bot would end just like him, surviving on its own... or just die with no pain. After all, there was no one else but him, just him, and Ravage too ofc but really no one else...

So, imagine how stupid must he have felt as he took the sparkling from the ground and was unable to put it down. Ravage in the background wheezing as she realizes what has happened ¨Oh yea, that's how I adopted you too HAHAHAHAH¨

And things well get hard. Why did he do it? Was it some left kindness on him? Did he lose his mind? or maybe, he just compasioned...?

Time passes, he keeps fighting, Ravage keeps being annoying but is still there for him, and the Sparkling now going by the name Heatwave, was there too looking from afar. Soundwave had decided that the little Bot would not participate in the arena, he would just watch and learn.

Heatwave was amazed at the way his ¨creator¨ fought other bots who were bigger than him and much more robust in comparison. Tho he didn't wish to become a gladiator just like his creator, but he still wanted to show how strong he was helping others.

Time passes, they're a small ¨family¨ for all they can say, but they are very strong and united. In every fight, Soundwave participates in the entertainment of the upper classes, he kept in reserve credits so that one day Heatwave can leave the pits and form a real life outside the misery. It would of course be a slow process, but Soundwave knew that he could do it.

A big surprise was when Heatwave shared with him that he wanted to become a Rescue Bot, a particular job that didn't really fit in any of the class rankings that Cybertron had been using... it was a job that came with intense training that if failed, all the blame would go to the bot who failed and not to the institution who trained them. A job that was more chosen to do for the pure of one spark than the want to win something. Such was that it was known that the High Council would prefer losing 5 Rescue Bot units than one Council member.

The job was clearly going to be a dead sentence, but after a long discussion, there were not many options like the Rescue recruit institutions offered to give a semi-normal life to low-class citizens... at least, for the time Heatwave would be trained he would have a home with basic needs, and once out of training and to the practice, the payment would be enough to even feed Ravage.

Soundwave still didn't want to say yes. to give Heatwave permission, but, Heatwave was just hotheaded, he was promising that with this he would be able to give Soundwave the life he could not grow up with... the life he gave to Heatwave...

Soundwave still saved credits as he kept participating in the arena, just in case.

Time seemed to fly through this change. Heatwave met his assigned team and close friends, Soundwave met new bots too, aspiring and strong allies for both of them. Yet, their ideals seemed to change as their lives grow appart.

They still saw each other, they kept communicating, and Ravage always reminded one or the other to call. But things just can't stay calm forever. The pits and many parts of Cybertron considered for the lower cast were being destroyed, homes and families being displeased so the upper class could take those areas. Slowly, a revolution was being armed with strong bots taking the lead. One in particular, Megatronus, wanted Soundwave as his second in command as he saw potential in him.

Soundwave wanted to decline at first. This could endanger Heatwave in many levels if it was known that they both were family. Megatronus seemed to understand, and it seemed that someone else would take Soundwave's place as SIC... is it wasn't for that one call...

The call that changed forever Soundwave's perspective on life and on his own decisions. It was from the Rescue recruitment system that chose Heatwave informing him of... the red bot dead, with the rest of his team...

Rescue Sigma-17 had been deployed to help another unit very far away, and as it seemed that the job was being completed, the communication began to cut. In short, all signals were lost and no vital was detected. Both units had been gone enough time to be declared deceased...

There was not going to be any effort on further location or send a 3 unit with more equipment to help or to at least know what happened. There was not going to be any effort on finding Heatwave's body for a proper funeral, his stuff as the stuff of his team would be tossed or given to their creators. That being said, Soundwave and Ravage received nothing but a big box full of credits, enough to live a luxurious life in the middle class...

It had a note from Heatwave. Just like Soundwave was saving for an emergency, Heatwave had been doing the same. Probably not eating or working extra to have this amount of credits...

... Soundwave tossed all that in their faces not accepting a damn. As fast as he could he went to Megatronus and began their plan to attack...

...

...

...

At light years far away, after more tragedy had occurred. A small ship floating in the middle of nothing received a message that redirected t it to a planet called Earth.

Landing, four bots from stasis had awakened to see the beauty of an organic planet and to encounter a figure not many would be able to talk to, Optimus Prime.

[sevikashairbrush]

SEVIKA X F!READER

-no warnings just pure fluff

“YOU MAKE ME FEEL… AT HOME.”

The bar was lively that night, packed with regulars and a few unfamiliar faces, filling the place with laughter and the occasional clash of tankards. Y/n moved between tables, a gentle smile gracing her lips as she poured drinks and listened to customers’ stories. Her soft demeanor and kind eyes were a quiet contrast to the roughness of the bar’s usual patrons.

Sevika stepped in, her presence immediately drawing attention. She was used to commanding the room, but tonight, her eyes drifted past the crowds, drawn to the bartender in the corner—Y/n. Sevika had heard rumors about her, a quiet girl with a heart of gold, and she’d laughed them off. Love wasn’t something she ever had time for. But the moment she saw Y/n, her heart stumbled.

As she made her way to the bar, Sevika watched Y/n work, the gentleness in her movements, the shy glances she gave her customers, her soft “thank yous” and nods. She found herself, for once, a little nervous.

Y/n approached, giving her a warm smile. “What can I get for you?”

Sevika cleared her throat, trying to keep her cool. “Just a whiskey,” she replied, unable to take her eyes off her.

As Y/n poured the drink, a group of drunk men seated nearby noticed her and started making noises—whistles, crude comments, laughing too loudly. Y/n glanced over nervously, her face turning a shade of pink, but she kept her focus on the task, setting the whiskey in front of Sevika with a quiet, “Here you go.”

“Thanks,” Sevika muttered, throwing a quick glare toward the men, who were now staring at Y/n with obvious intentions. Sevika took a slow sip of her drink, fighting the urge to interfere.

One of the men staggered over, leaning too close. “Hey, sweetheart,” he slurred, “why don’t you come over here and give us a little company, hmm?”

Y/n’s cheeks reddened as she took a step back. “I… I’m just working,” she replied, voice barely above a whisper.

Sevika watched the man with a hardened stare. “I think she’s fine where she is,” she growled, her voice carrying a warning.

The man glanced over, catching sight of Sevika’s glare and the mechanical arm resting on the bar. He muttered something under his breath and retreated, going back to his table with his friends.

Y/n looked up at Sevika, gratitude shining in her eyes. “Thank you,” she said softly.

Sevika shrugged, trying to act casual. “Can’t have idiots like that bothering you. Besides,” she added with a smirk, “I’ve got my own reasons to want your attention.”

Y/n’s face turned pink, and she looked down, fiddling with her apron nervously. “Well, um… what… what kind of reasons?” she managed to ask, her shyness making Sevika’s heart beat a little faster.

“You’re a good listener,” Sevika replied, leaning in closer, her gaze softening. “A little quiet, but… I like that. Makes me feel like I don’t have to be all tough around you.”

Y/n gave a shy smile, her fingers brushing her hair back. “Most people don’t like the quiet,” she admitted. “They think it’s boring.”

“Boring?” Sevika scoffed, her voice low. “I think it’s… calming. And I don’t know what it is about you, but you make me feel…” She hesitated, almost embarrassed to admit it. “…at home.”

Y/n’s smile grew, and she reached out, resting her hand on Sevika’s. Her touch was gentle, tentative, but Sevika felt warmth spreading through her chest. “That’s probably the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me,” Y/n murmured.

Sevika chuckled, feeling a rare shyness herself. “Guess I should come around here more often.”

Y/n bit her lip, her gaze meeting Sevika’s. “I… I wouldn’t mind that,” she whispered, her voice full of sincerity.

The night passed, and Sevika stayed, letting herself relax, talking and laughing with Y/n between orders. The world outside the bar seemed to disappear.

HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS!!

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Helo there! What do you think about Harry's and Neville's friendship? And the aspect of both of them possibily being the chosen one?

I like Neville and his dynamic with Harry, even if I don't think they're that close.

Like, Harry is more of a mentor for Neville with the DA rather than a friend who's a peer.

in fact, he barely spoke during D.A. meetings anymore, but worked relentlessly on every new jinx and countercurse Harry taught them, his plump face screwed up in concentration, apparently indifferent to injuries or accidents, working harder than anyone else in the room. He was improving so fast it was quite unnerving and when Harry taught them the Shield Charm, a means of deflecting minor jinxes so that they rebounded upon the attacker, only Hermione mastered the charm faster than Neville.

(OotP)

And I think Neville keeps looking up to him as a symbol and a leader less than as a person.

Nevertheless, his battered visage shone with happiness as he let go of Hermione and said again, “I knew you’d come! Kept telling Seamus it was a matter of time!”

(DH)

Neville kinda idolizes Harry in a way.

That's why I don't think they are particularly close, but they do care about each other. Harry feels a bit sorry for Neville and a little protective over him:

A hatred such as he had never known before was coursing through Harry like poison. He could see Black laughing at him through the darkness, as though somebody had pasted the picture from the album over his eyes. He watched, as though somebody was playing him a piece of film, Sirius Black blasting Peter Pettigrew (who resembled Neville Longbottom) into a thousand pieces.

(PoA)

“Doesn’t matter. They don’t want to spill too much pure blood, so they’ll torture us a bit if we’re mouthy but they won’t actually kill us.” Harry did not know what was worse, the things that Neville was saying or the matter-of-fact tone in which he said them.

(DH)

And he does trust Neville a lot. Both Harry and Neville have full faith in each other which I really like:

Dumbledore had died knowing that three people still knew about the Horcruxes; now Neville will take Harry’s place. There would still be three in the secret. “Just in case they’re—busy—and you get the chance—” “Kill the snake?” “Kill the snake,” Harry repeated. “All right, Harry, You’re okay, are you?” “I’m fine. Thanks, Neville.” But Neville seized his wrist as Harry made to move on. “We’re all going to keep fighting, Harry. You know that?” “Yeah, I—” The suffocating feeling extinguished the end of the sentence; he could not go on. Neville did not seem to find it strange. He patted Harry on the shoulder, released him, and walked away to look for more bodies.

(DH)

They have a sort of quiet understanding and while their friendship isn't super close, they do care about each other and like each other. They could've probably been good friends if they were given the chance to interact more. (That's another reason why I love DADA professor Harry with Herbology professor Neville to give them that chance)

Their dynamic, if they were to get closer, kinda reminds me of an older brother & a younger brother due to how much Neville looks up to Harry and how Harry is protective over Neville.

As for both of them being the Chosen One, well, they aren't both the Chosen One. Only Harry was Chosen at the end of the day. But, I think that by the end, Neville is a truer Gryffindor than Harry.

In book 7 Harry failed to retrieve the Sword of Gryffindor:

When Ron offered the sword, however, Harry shook his head. “No, you should do it.” “Me?” said Ron, looking shocked. “Why?” “Because you got the sword out of the pool. I think it’s supposed to be you.” He was not being kind or generous. As certainly as he had known that the doe was benign, he knew that Ron had to be the one to wield the sword. Dumbledore had at least taught Harry something about certain kinds of magic, of the incalculable power of certain acts

(DH)

The sword that only appears to a Gryffindor in need:

What was it, Harry asked himself (walking again), that Dumbledore had told him the last time he had retrieved the sword? Only a true Gryffindor could have pulled that out of the hat. And what were the qualities that defined a Gryffindor? A small voice inside Harry’s head answered him: Their daring, nerve, and chivalry set Gryffindors apart.

(DH)

rejected Harry, but embraced Neville:

In one swift, fluid motion, Neville broke free of the Body-Bind Curse upon; the flaming hat fell off him and he drew from its depths something silver, with a glittering, rubied handle—

(DH)

Add to that Harry's use of Unforgivables in book 7, and I feel like Harry was supposed to embrace his Slytherin characteristics in this book as a theme of the narrative, you know? Like the rejection from the sword and Harry needing to be more cunning than ever should've been this sort of closure. Of Harry's understanding, not all Slytherins are evil and he himself is a bit of a Slytherin and embracing it. It would've worked so well with Snape's story and the themes of the book, truly a missed opportunity to not make this idea of Harry finally saying "yes Slytherin" instead of "not Slytherin", and embracing the fact he is a bit of a Slytherin while Neville, who was terrified to be in Gryffindor, who asked the hat to place him someplace else, embraced being a Gryffindor fully. They have kind of small parallel barley-there arcs in a way that I found interesting in my current reread of Deathly Hallows. Like, I feel there was an intention there, as Harry does feel he is less of a Gryffindor throughout this book, even though he still is, I'm talking about his feelings on the matter.

I think this idea is there, just not as explored as I would've liked it. It is just interesting that the Sword of Gryffindor chose Neville as the true Gryffindor but rejected Harry who is the Chosen One because he was chosen by the Heir of Slytherin. Idk, I feel like there is something there.

[dors-ee]

Oh yeeees it's the one where he's like "lots of mouths and teeth, yes so good" 🤣 Still laughing at it. And if I remember correctly you find it like on the island to kill Ghilan'Nain? Tension is high, you are toward the end, and you find that 🤣 (or in his temple which... same thing. Extra tense and stressful and you get him saying that 🤣) "my big dragon" "she wrong but eh. Will concess cause she sad.", "Give my drgaon lots of mouths and teeth. and bigger. Yeah so cool. My dragon is so cool. My dragon is the coolest" (him with Davrin and Emmrich, speaking of their kids. "Mine can fly!", "Mine learnt to talk!", "Mine is big and he'll get lots of mouths and teeths!") and showing a strange form of care for Ghilan'nain.

Some side thoughts -not joking :

like... for me it strips him of some of his prestance, BUT also gives him something more. and even this act of "taking" some mythos out of him thematically works bc well we are told again and again : they are no gods.

It is shown that he cares in a weird way when he gets Ghilan'nain in Hossberg, and here when he, in his weird and a bit condescending way, cares for her mood... There's also the codex fragment with Ghilan'nain, answering to him about Andruil. I don't remember what she says exactly, but it seems she answers him about... a concern? about this. Or just that he spekls of bringing back Andruil (I believe that's what she answers "no let her be" or something like that, for me, is a way of showing a sort of care.).

He also cares about his dragon size, "mine is the biggest! nah!" and seems to share at least a fragment of Ghilan'nain's love for "lots of teeth and mouths". Which if they really are siblings, I thought it was a nice touch to show that one. Both freaks... and both brilliant, even if now blighted.

He is a bit thicker of a cardboard with those elements. More so than when Mythal speak of him having been twisted too, as a spirit.

And I'd rather fight with such an opponent rather than just a cardboard villain that is just vile. Elgar'Nan has a bit of depth, even in his talk with Solas, it is interesting how he reacts. It isn't just pure villain mocking his opponent. Or at least didn't feel like it. speaking of this talk the subject of the other evanuris also for me there was something in how Elgar'nan reacrs and speaks, of that, of the past, etc. Does he only wants to bring his empire back for the sake of power and his ego as a god, like a pure villain... or bc he misses it and misses the other evanuris too? Maybe I'm reaching with this one.

It also is this dialogue bringing how Elgar'nan was brilliant too. and maybe it's just me but I did feel something at the mention of his descent and the dulling of his mind with the blight. Of the loss of this core element of him, and the brillance of him -representation of the brillance of the eleves, also lost?-. He lost his empire, his fellow gods and himself. Like... even what made him a good opponent, a good bad guy, is lost now. He lost himself first when he got twisted as a spirit, thrn became a god/slaver, where he still had lesst was a good bad guy apparently and would-be-wrong-God. But now he doesn't even have that. What a fall eh? for a "risen god".

Don't know if this passage is clear sorry. Writing not confusing and clear literary analyzes is hard enough in my language (my big issue I had during my bachelor degree in literature. Managing to write my thoughts clearly and with structure) so in english x).

Although why having a dulled mind would make him speak the common tongue? shouldn't it be rhe reverse and he's speak his native tongue only? (aka elven) isn't common a learnt secondary language for them?

Yet again : just a tad more development and scenes with him to flesh him not only as this very threatening scary guy but also as a character, as in more of a person, that would have been nice. Helped with the build up too.

elgar'nan, all-father, the eldest of the sun, he who overthrew his father, god of sun and vengeance: NOPE MY DRAGON WAS DEFINITELY BIGGER, HE SHRUNK IN THE WASH

[solar4seekstron]

I have a funny little one for TFA so we all know how bumblebee is like the smallest bot compared to everyone right so what if he had a conjux or crush that was smaller than him like he teases them and stuff but still loves affection to them (if you make them femme that be great if not gn is good too 👍)

That’s so cute I’ll definitely give it a try. And the reason I do GN is because I want all different genders to enjoy my work. Male, Nonbinary, and Female lol.

TFA!Bumblebee x Cybertronian!GN!Reader Oneshot: Smaller

TW/Tags: Just Bee being best boi.

Bee has been a part of Team Prime for a pretty good while. He joined because he wished to stick with his pal Bulkhead. And his lovely Conjunx. A small but well built and pretty strong he was able to get to become his Conjunx by pure luck, at least that’s what he yelled himself. Joins them as well.

Someone he just asked out one day at the academy and ever since then. You both never separated. Even despite many other short bots like wasp and the twins who tried to court you.

Good thing too. Going with Bee is the best choice you could’ve ever made. He always made you smile and brought you cheer even when you were supposed to be mad at him. You always stood up for him and comforted him. He always made sure to be affectionate with you. Like holding you and giving you forhelm kisses. The only times he’d not care about how he looked and how others saw him.

You know it’s to show he truly loves you for who you are. As you show how you love him for who he is. You two are basically the ideal couple in the team. Ratchet even saying that only once. Bringing Bee and Ratchet a little closer. Making both you and Optimus happy.

It’s been a good while since you all started living on the planet earth with Sari. Sari always liked hanging out with you since you were the smallest.

Often at times when you and Bee would be sitting on the couch watching TV Sari would walk in and sit on your lap almost like a little child. Sometimes Bee didn’t mind. But if he was feeling a bit “frisky” that moment or day. yeah he’d get annoyed but say nothing.

Your bond always comforting him even when you guys weren’t in battle. Every time there was a close call you guys always stayed close together. You even dressed up as Bee bride for Halloween when he went as a vampire.

Bee is always affectionate with you. And as you are with him. Deposited your size.

The others always treated you as a comrade as if the size difference wasn’t there every day. Despite not having a gender like the mechs. You do at times play at the role of a mother. Something Sari told you, bee and bulkhead about when she came to visit you all. Sari even said that you treat her like your own.

Even at night Bee would try to talk to you about it. Saying if you’re like the mother then he’s the cool uncle. You corrected him since you listened to what sari said about how family works. He’d be the dad.

At least second to Optimus Prime..This would make him a bit sad. Not happy with his not so smart moment.

You’d then comfort him the way you always do. Gently holding him by his cheeks and showering his face with kisses. Smothering him as he chuckled and his cervos gently holding your waist.

”Thanks Sweetspark. You always know how to take care of me.” He chuckled once more. “What would I do without you?”

”Mmm..probably fighting a decepticon.” You teased and this made you ad him laugh before you both looked at each other's optics. And then both of your dermas connect as you both close your optics.

You always and will till the day your spark runs out. Love moments like this with your Conjunx. Although many will always ask you, even repeating it. As you why you stay with him. You can always answer with a bright smile on your dermas. as your optics only show joy and warmth.

”He makes me smile.”

I really had fun making this for Bumblebee. He’s so cute and I tried my best to add as much as I can for him without much of a scenario. Mostly just his relationship with the reader and the femme part gave me an idea. Maybe I’ll do another part with this Oneshot but I’ll need a scenario for the two so I can get a better story out to write so please lay out the ideas. I’m sure I can make a lot of fun ideas with the family dynamic with Sari, Bee, and reader! I hope you all have a good rest of the day and enjoy the next posts as they come!

[evadnesworld]

zaynes winter worrying

c/w: zayne is never beating those husband allegations, everything's lowercase, not beta read, just cute winter activities, up to you whether this is mc , other fics stem from this one so kinda pl

the suns soft rays which basked linkon city had slowly drifted away as night approached, the streets now lit by the various street lamps adorning the city. the once warm and cozy air had been overtaken by the cold winter air which made way for only one thing- a worried zayne. it wasnt surprising, honestly, for him to worry about you. whether it be cooking for you, making sure youre healthy, and just spending time for you- he craved you, bestowing the duty of making sure you were well upon him.

so it wasnt surprising when he didnt let you go out without a scarf or proper winter clothes, especially not with just how snowy it was. not only that, but you had just defeated the "evil bacteria" that decided to inflict you with a sickness since they had "nothing better to do with their grimy lives."

"zayne, dont worry im fine! a little cold never killed anybody. im strong i can fight it!" you declared, your chin tilting upwards as an attempt to emphasize your "strength" against any potential sicknesses coming your way.

he sighed as he grabbed the scarf which laid lazily on your bed. the same scarf he bought you a while back after your eyes lingered on it for a second too long, in his defense, he said it wasnt an unnecessary expense as you declared it was, because it was you who he was buying it for. and whatever was done for you, was not something done in vain.

in a few mere strides he made his way over to you. one of the various perks of being tall. fiddling with the scarf, he opened his mouth, his glasses sitting delicately on the bridge of his nose.

"i know just how strong you are, but id rather not let even the faintest chance of you getting sick exist pass me by. and although being by your side does sound very enjoyable," his voice low and tender- reminding you of the sheer adoration he has for you, as he wrapped your scarf around you, making sure not a single cold gust of wind could get to you.

"id rather be by your side when you are not in constant pain as i nurse you back to health." he leaned in, barely hovering over your ear, he softly whispered, his breath tickling your ear. your face quickly became red with embarrassment- he knew what effect he had on you, and hed be damned if he didnt use that to fluster you.

he tucked your hair behind your ear before giving you a peck on the cheek. his gaze softening- if you werent as well versed in the art of zayne expression, youd probably miss the look he had on his face. the look of pure, unadulterated pining. he looked at you as though you were the only one he needed- as though you were his water. you were his needs and his wants.

his black hair was illuminated by your apartments lights. it was here where his smile was made more apparent. committing your face lips to his memory, your eyes, and your everything- he took your hand into his, another peck on your lips.

"let us go now, before the cafe you wanted to visit closes." you smiled, he would truly be the death of you- or rather, youd be the death of him, because you both knew, that if it ever came to it, hed give you the stars and the sky, the earth and everything in between.

divider from @/anitalenia 

havent written in two years, how could i improve this story? i hope he wasnt too out of character.

[124ndm]

villain!deku rambles.. eeerrmmm

i rlly want to start a comic about villain!deku, but im a little hesitant because i feel like it would be WAY too big of an undertaking for me..

but if ur at all interested, my ideas are below the cut. ^_^

My concept would start with the sludge villain incident. Other heroes get to saving bakugou before both midoriya or all might. This, in turn, means that he never gets OFA.. and never joins the hero course (yadada im sure this has all been written before). However I DO think that he would still join UA. Thats really my main motivation behind making a comic like this. In a lot of villain!deku stuff I see, he tends to abandon hero work altogether.. which i just dont think he'd do!! midoriya is VERY determined when he has his mind set on something, so I feel like he'd find some way to go to UA one way or another.

So, what would make him a villain then?? Well, it would definitely be a gradual build-up overtime. Assuming he takes the support-course route (which ig would make this a mashup of two aus, LOL), I think it would start with him helping vigilantes. Low-level illegal heroes convince him that by making support items, midoriya can advance in his field. He keeps doing these sorts of favors, knowing its unethical, out of a desperation to feel useful and help the 'heroes.'

I also think as a sort of parallel to bakugo, he'd start hanging around bad classmates like bakugo did during middle school. Being in a support course as opposed to a hero course means a very different demographic of students. We see a lot of instances IRL of students going into engineering good intentions, only to throw away morals for higher paying jobs (i'm sure yall have seen those Lockheed Martin tiktoks, need I say more 💀). We know characters like mei hatsume are very honest and dedicated to their craft, but what are the lower-level students like? What about the other classes? We don't really see much of that, so I think it'd be fun to explore the morally gray students of UA.

I think his final breaking point would be when he gets in kahoots with Giran. I don't think giran would immediately clock midoriya as a potential recruit, but instead would change his mind later: seeking out midoriya after Shigaraki shows interest in bakugo. (sure, they aren't in the same class anymore, but both of them being in UA works as a convenient connection).

After midoriya gets with shigiraki, I believe he'd certainly get a quirk (whether or not midoriya actually wants it, Im sure theyd give him one anyways. more power to their organization, and more leverage over midoriya). Soon after, the LoV would get into an altercation with class 1-A, which would probably get him expelled. Although, in-turn, fuel a stronger disproval towards hero society (and also compel izuku to get better at using his quirk, knowing that he has a lot of catching up to do).

And duh as the cherry on top, there'd be bkdk angst.. bakugo only realizing that midoriya got into UA after seeing his association with the league. The weird guilty feeling bakugou would get knowing that a kid he bullied ended up becoming a villain, but also pure anger at knowing that he even got into UA in the first place. And also, the inevitable midoriya/bakugo fight that would happen when the league and class 1-A have more encounters.

I haven't exactly decided on how to end it, but I feel like it would end with either a redemption or something similar to the whole togachako situation. More likely a redemption because, lets be for real here, midoriya is so kind-spirited that even as a villain: he'd probably fold when faced with a genuine bakugo apology or heart-to-heart All Might encounter LOL.

anyways im deffff yapping here, I did NOT intend for this post to be so fucking long HELP. I just really wanted to get my stupid ideas written down. Like i said earlier, this has prob been done before if we're being quite honest.. but I still I think making a comic like this would be sooo fun. But godd i am NOT a good writer so I worry that I would start and then never finish. aaaaah 😭😭

I'll just have to see if my motivation sticks around these next few weeks. If so, I'll probably start drafting this out!! If I do lose interest, well then.. this'll be the last you hear of my villain!deku rambles LMAO. I rlly hope I don't lose interest because this would be the first time ive written since like, early high school, and I really want to get back into writing again. Even in comic form, any kind of writing would be great practice for me. Dx

[forwhump]

a/n; for my anon that was having a bad week <3 IM SORRY FOR THE DELAY I couldn’t find the thing I wanted to post for you but I couldn’t just keep posting nothing so here’s something instead <3 I hope I didn’t make it way worse 😚 (if I did pls lmk I’ll redeem myself 🫡)

disclaimer: if you haven’t already noticed yes this is just a big outlet for me for every whump thing I want in the world <3 thanks for coming along for this ride w me 😚 LOL

tw/cw: medical torture, medical abuse, surgical torture, living weapon whumpee, graphic depictions of violence, major character death, severe brain injuries, amnesia, threats of violence, graphic depictions of violence, gun violence, science fiction

“I don’t wanna hurt you,” Silas says, cracking his knuckles. “I like you, man.”

Medic’s face doesn’t change but he swallows so loudly Silas can hear him over the pounding of the alarm. Sitting behind his desk, he stares up at him, his pale face glowing red every few seconds in the flash of the emergency lights. The flickering red light of his shock collar glows out of time, keeping him cast in red. It makes him look really sick. Kinda frail. Silas had never noticed quite how small Medic is. They’re all so fuckin’ small. Why is Silas the pet?

It makes him think of Wren, as most things do. He’s always thinking about Wren in some capacity; everything always comes back around to Wren somehow, even without his meaning to. They’re all so small but Wren is the smallest, so small it’s hard for Silas not to find it kind of bizarre, so human it gave him this glowing, angelic sort of quality. Silas had been engineered for violence, for easy slaughter, but he hadn’t been engineered to be a guard dog — that was something Wren brought out in him, something organic. Maybe the only bit of free will Silas had ever managed, and there’s Wren again, at the centre, glowing and holy and so fuckin’ small.

All anybody wants to do is hurt him. It makes Silas violent, just as much as it’s never made a lick of fuckin’ sense to him. All anybody around Wren ever wants to do is hurt him. Silas lives and breathes violence — Wren does, too. It follows him. This silvery, holy thing.

Everything about Wren is good, is silvery, is holy. He’s angelic in the way he shimmers, but in everything else about him, too, every organic cell and strand of DNA. Wren is so good. Wren is pure goodness. His view of the world is narrowed to a single point, but it’s hard for Silas to imagine many corners of the world are much worse than this. Are people not most themselves at their worst? Wasn’t it Wren that told him that?

Silas isn’t a good person. He knows that. He isn’t at peace with it, he’s been fighting it tooth and talon, but he knows what he is, and he’s a bad dog at the very kindest. Freak fuckin’ science experiment at worst. He’s violent. Mean. Quick to anger and just as quick to slaughter. He’s impatient. Wren had to teach him manners, and he’s had to teach him more than once. Still, Wren taught him. Wren teaches him still. Wren, who’s been hurt in ways even Silas kinda struggles to fathom, who would have every reason in the world to be just as violent, as mean, as impatient as Silas, but who isn’t. Who sat on the floor with him for days at a time and patiently taught Silas to write his own name. Who spends days sitting at Silas’ bedside, reading to him quietly, when Silas is too incapacitated to move. How can anybody want to hurt a person like that? How can everybody?

To Silas, they’re all so small. Disposable. But they’re so much bigger than Wren. Point was always so much bigger than Wren. Point always liked to hurt him the most.

Silas cracks his neck. “I just want to know where they are.”

There had been a lockdown. Silas had been the cause of every district lockdown so far — he’s never been on the outside of one before. It had happened during a field test, and it was the first time he’s ever seen the manufactured sun of the arena turn red. He should’ve known it was an omen. From there, he was thrown into isolation, but it was like no other time Silas had been in isolation. Nobody showed up to skin him, or cane him, or beat him, or gut him. Nobody showed up to taunt him. They didn’t even restrain him, not really, they just left him alone in the dark. He was left in proper isolation for the very first time.

When he was finally allowed back to the unit, Wren was gone. His room was cleared out. His books had been taken from Silas’ room like he had never been there at all. They keep trying to tell him he had never been there at all.

But Point had never come back, either, and Silas isn’t a smart man, but he’s smarter than these people keep giving him credit for. He was smart enough to figure that one out. When it comes to Wren, there isn’t anything he can’t do. Wren makes him smart, and he makes him invincible. If Wren’s out there somewhere, Silas is going to find him, it doesn’t matter what he has to do. If Point had taken him, if Point is putting his hands on him, if Wren is out there somewhere and he’s hurt, and he’s scared, he’s probably thinking about Silas, and there isn’t anything in the fuckin’ world Silas won’t do to save him. He’ll massacre everybody in this place and outside of it if he has to.

He doesn’t want to kill Medic. He’s always been good to him. But he will if he has to. He’ll kill any one of them if he has to.

“I don’t know,” Medic tells him, and he’s doing a good job of keeping his face straight but his eyes are huge, shining in the flashing red light. “You know they don’t tell me anything. Come on, big guy.”

“Medic,” Silas warns, almost sing song.

Abruptly, he pushes his chair back, and it collides with the concrete wall with a sound that makes Silas’ back teeth hurt. “I don’t know, buddy,” he says. “I’m sorry. I don’t know.”

There’s already blood on Silas’ hands — on his teeth. He’d had to kill a lot of Medic’s team to get here. He didn’t even know Medic had an office; he’s never been in this part of the medical bay before. It will never forget him. He’ll be a stain on the walls, and the floors, and the ceilings of this place for a very long time.

He picks a chunk of flesh out from under his fingernail and says, “Medic.”

“Silas,” he tries. “Come on, big guy. I’d tell you if I knew. I think — I think he’s probably in a lot of danger and I want you to find him, buddy. You need to find him. But I don’t know where he is.”

Silas tilts his head. Watches him, for a moment, through flickering red light. “Are you lying to me?”

“No,” Medic croaks. “I’ll come with you. I can help you, big guy. You don’t — you don’t know what you’re in for up there up, Silas, but I do, and I — I can help you. I can help you find him. I can help him when we get there. He’ll need a doctor and I — don’t hurt me, buddy. Come on. I’ve tried to be good to you both. I can — I can help.”

Silas watches him again, silent. It feels like bait and he doesn’t like it, but he used to trust Medic. Wren always trusted him, before he disappeared out from under his nose, and Wren’s trust goes a long way as far as Silas is concerned.

And he’s right, to a degree. Silas would make quick work of butchering every breathing thing above ground to find his way to Wren, but it would still take time he could spare if he knew how to find him.

Slowly, he lifts his chin.

Medic’s face finally changes. Not for the better. “Silas —” is all the time he has before pain explodes through the back of Silas’ head.

It comes out of nowhere and it almost knocks him off his feet. It’s hot, it’s blisteringly hot and his sweatshirt starts to stick to his back, wet.

The red light continues to flicker but it dims, it gets sort of smoky, and through the smoke Medic is saying something but Silas can’t hear him at all.

Fuck, he thinks, and lifts a hand to the back of his head. Accidentally almost sticks his finger in a gunshot wound.

Instinctively, he turns.

He’s executed in Medic’s office by means of firing squad.

Staring blankly up at the ceiling, Silas listens to the crackle of electricity as it courses and the hollow chirping of the machines keeping him alive. “I don’t wanna die,” he says. He’s not ready yet.

Medic sniffles. He’s been crying for hours and Silas has never felt the way he feels now, not once in his short life. “I’m so sorry, big guy,” he admits, rubbing his face. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to do now.”

Silas has died a lot, and he’s died miserably, but never permanently. Never for real. He’s always been revived, reanimated. He’s never had to fear death because it never really meant anything to him. He’s out of his element now. He doesn’t know this part.

For as long as he can remember, Silas hasn’t been human. Now he’s only meat and machine. The only part of him that’s still him, the only part of him that’s still working on his own is his brain, and that’s only until they finally decided to take him off life support and remove it.

He’d been eviscerated. The flayed skin of his chest and his stomach are pulled tightly over the table, clamped in place. Most of the meat and the muscle had been removed, his ribcage pried apart. Every organ, a lot of his major veins and arteries, they’re threaded with wires and cords, sparking with electricity and the current that courses from the chrome and flickering lights at his bedside, keeping him alive until they decide to shut it all down.

Silas is going to be put down.

It doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t feel like anything. It’s the most painless way he’s ever died but it’s bitter at the back of his throat. Metallic. Finally, Silas is going to be put down.

Wren is still out there somewhere, and Silas is never gonna know what happened to him. He’s not gonna be able to save him this time. He isn’t all that familiar with death, the permanent kind, and he doesn’t really know what comes after, but he knows for sure that he isn’t gonna end up in the same place Wren does. He wishes he could go where Wren’s going. He’s never gonna get to see him again.

Silas always knew his life was gonna be short. There wasn’t ever really a question. But it wasn’t supposed to happen like this. He’s not ready to go.

This can’t be it for him, not really, not permanently. It can’t. Not while Wren is still out there.

He’d been too violent in the aftermath. He hadn’t reacted well. And they can’t control him the same anymore, not without Wren to hold over his head. He was formally declared a liability. He’s no longer worth the risk.

Turning his head slowly, Silas says, “do something for me.”

Medic sniffles again, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. “Anything.”

“You gotta get out of here,” Silas tells him. “You gotta find him. You gotta help him.”

He looks at Silas, and he looks at him earnestly. He’s been crying on and off the entire time he’s been at his bedside, and it’s been moderately irritating at the best of times, suffocating at worst. But he’s been at Silas’ bedside the entire time. The whole time he’s been dying, Medic has been there. He’s never left. He’s done his best to keep him comfortable. All things considered, Silas owes him most of his lives. He doesn’t owe Silas anything, he’s done more than his part, but he says still, “I will.”

“Take care of him for me,” Silas says.

“I will,” he repeats, and he sniffles again but his nod is firm. Definitive. “He’ll be okay.”

Silas looks back up at the grey ceiling and tastes bile. Out of habit, he takes a deep breath.

When they had first disemboweled him, when they had strapped him down to the table and peeled all the meat away from his ribcage, pulled his ribcage apart, the inside of his body had been loud, but it had been wet, it was alive. Now, it’s just as loud, maybe louder, but the sounds are wheezy and dry. Mechanical. Only his brain is working on its own — the rest is all simulated. It’s all machines.

It hurt a lot as his body was dying. Mercifully, it doesn’t hurt anymore. He thinks it’s kind of fucked up that his most permanent death is gonna hurt the least.

“Do you think he’ll forget about me?” He asks the ceiling.

“No,” Medic answers, even before he’s finished speaking. “I think he’s going to think about you every day for the rest of his life.”

Silas had spent every day of his life, since meeting Wren, thinking about him. Most of what Silas thinks about, in fact, is Wren. Everything he did, he did for Wren. He didn’t usually make his life any better, any easier, but he tried. Fuck, he tried.

He wasn’t a good dog, that’s the worst part. He tried, tooth and fuckin’ nail he tried, but to what end? Silas’ brain is going to be removed. Wren’s gone, and Silas doesn’t know where. He isn’t safe, he’s being hurt, he knows that, but for the first time, Silas is absolutely helpless to do anything about it. Silas is going to die without ever seeing him again.

“Nobody that’s known you will ever forget you, big guy,” Medic tells him. “I don’t want you to worry about that.”

“I’m not worried about me,” Silas says. The beat of his heart sounds like the beeping of a heart monitor.

He sighs softly, shifting in his chair. He sniffles again. “I’ll make sure he’s okay,” he says. “I promise.”

“This sucks, man,” Silas says helplessly.

He chokes out a wet laugh. He sobs, too. “I’m gonna miss you, buddy,” he says.

Restrained to the surface, he lifts his fist from the table as far as he can. “See you in hell?”

He sobs again. He laughs, too. “I’ll see you there. Tell you what,” he says, knocking his fist against Silas’, “when I get there, you can call me Jed.”

“Why?” Silas asks. “What’s Jed?”

He chokes out another sound, rubbing his mouth as he does it. “My name.”

“I thought your name was Medic,” Silas says, but it makes sense that it wouldn’t be his real name, because that’s also his job. He’d just never considered him having a real name, and he doesn’t wanna think about how much else is out there that’s he never considered, that he doesn’t know, that he’ll never know, but he can’t help it and it would make him vomit if his stomach had anything in it but active circuits and live wires. As it is, it crackles loudly with electricity.

But Medic laughs again, and it lightens the burden a little bit. It sits better than the crying. “That’s a lie,” he says. “It’s actually Jed.”

Silas lifts the corner of his mouth. “You might have to remind me next time.”

“I will,” he agrees. When the door beeps, a keycard being accepted, Medic takes his hand. “I’m gonna miss you, Silas.”

Silas says, “find Wren.”

It’s Carver that comes to loom over the head of the table. Carver specializes in head, face, and brain; Weaver specializes in organs and meat.

“Asset Park,” he says, “we want to thank you for your service.”

“Get fucked,” Silas says. Panic rises in his chest, and it surprises him.

The last thing he ever thinks about is Wren.

Jed doesn’t move from his chair, and the surgeon doesn’t ask him to. He doesn’t know if this one is Carver or Weaver; he doesn’t care. They’re both creepy, surgeons straight from horror movies, mad scientists from some especially miserable circle of hell.

He sits, watches. Doesn’t quite know why; figures Silas deserves that. Doesn’t deserve to be alone for this.

Except it isn’t what Jed thought it was going to be. Silas’ brain isn’t removed. It isn’t destroyed. Once his scalp is peeled down over his face, the top of his skull is sawed off, and once the bone is lifted out of place, the surgeon starts cutting into his brain, injecting into the tissue, with his other hand, something that Jed doesn’t recognize, something that looks like oil in the syringe.

He has to swallow before he can ask, “what are you doing?”

The surgeon doesn’t answer him.

He’s been crying for days, but it stops quickly. Nausea roils in. Silas was scared, and for that, Jed can’t imagine, but Silas’ life had been so miserable. It had been so painful. As resistant as he had been, he was tired. He deserves to rest. “You’re not gonna let him die?”

The surgeon doesn’t lift his head, but he makes a, “heh,” sound, which probably passes as amusement for him.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” he says.

“Asset Park is our most advanced weapon,” the surgeon answers, clipped, not lifting his head. “His execution would be a bitter waste.”

“What are you doing to him?” Jed asks, and the words are stale.

“Cutting out the cancer,” he says.

The first time Silas wakes up, he’s pissed. He’s pissed. The creepy surgeon dorks are supposed to be smart. They’re supposed to be the smartest. Even they can’t kill him?

The first time Silas wakes up, he wakes up during surgery, and he is so. Fuckin’. Tired. Of being awake during surgery. It’s hard to explain how much something like that hurts; it’s a pain beyond Silas’ means of description. They have to think he’s dead, they have to, because his arms aren’t restrained, but they should be smarter than that, right? They can’t tell the difference between a dead Silas and a live one?

He grabs the closest by the throat. He doesn’t know who it is — he can’t tell any of them apart in surgery, not really. They look identical, Weaver and Carver and their swarms of surgical teams. They all dress in black, surgical caps and masks and scrubs. They all have the same hungry eyes. Silas grabs one of them by the throat, it doesn’t really matter which one, because a different one quickly slits the inside of his elbow, then his wrist with a scalpel. He drops them, grunts in frustration. Drops his arm back against the table with a thunderously loud noise. Loses a couple seconds as unconsciousness creeps up on him again.

When he comes to a second time, one of the surgeons is looking at him with shining eyes. “Still,” he tells Silas, “somehow, you surprise us.”

When he wakes up, he wakes up in a bland, grey room, beneath bland, grey sheets. The surgeon standing over him is a jarring contrast, dressed all in black. It’s very small. He doesn’t recognize it.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” It asks, leaning in too close to his face.

He thinks. He can’t think of anything.

The surgeon’s eyes crinkle above its black mask. “Excellent,” it says.

[wikiangela]

tease tidbit tuesday/wip wednesday

tagged by @thewolvesof1998 @theotherbuckley @tizniz @diazsdimples @dangerpronebuddie @spotsandsocks @exhuastedpigeon @underwaterninja13 - tagging y'all back for wip wednesday 💖💖

doing two in one bc it's technically wednesday already idc lol - started a new wip I mentioned before (inspired by this video lol) and rn I'm rewriting what I wrote yesterday bc the past two days words were not wording and I hated everything I wrote, but I think I'm happy with it now haha I hope I'll manage to write it like I want to bc it's sooo good in my head istg haha

(wasn't gonna post until i have more but i need validation before i drive myself crazy over this lol)

___

It started as a random idea, more like a throwaway thought, really. Tommy was just checking the weather for the next few days – his hot pilot boyfriend always likes to be prepared – while they were hanging out, and he casually mentioned that “it’s gonna be nice on Saturday, perfect barbecue weather,” which got Buck to mention how they often have family barbecues at Bobby and Athena’s. Somehow, the conversation spiraled, and Buck’s not sure who threw out a more concrete idea, but here they are now, standing side by side in Tommy’s kitchen, preparing food – Buck’s currently slicing veggies for a salad, while Tommy takes care of the meat – for the barbecue where they invited way too many people than Tommy’s backyard can probably fit. It really is nice weather, the sliding door leading from the kitchen to the backyard open and letting in warm sunshine and a soft breeze that makes the air feel cooler. They work in pleasant silence, the only sound is quiet music playing from the speaker, and Buck can’t help a fond smile when he hears his boyfriend hum along, so off-key Buck’s not sure he even knows the song, but it’s still adorable.

The silence is disrupted by the doorbell ringing, and before Tommy can even move, Buck is dropping the knife on the cutting board, wiping his hands, and sprinting towards the door, shouting an “I got it!” over his shoulder. He’s followed by an echo of Tommy’s fondly amused chuckles. So he’s a little excited, sue him – they haven’t had a family day like this in a while, and there was only one he brought Tommy to, all of their schedules not so easy to align. And today his whole family will be here, including their spouses and children, and Tommy invited a couple of his friends and their families, too, and it’ll be just a big, loud, chaotic get-together that he’s hosting with his boyfriend. Buck never hosted one of these before, and he’s really enjoying it so far, and he just wants everyone to have fun.

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @thebravebitch @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck

@eowon @loserdiaz @evanbegins @ladydorian05 @wildlife4life

@diazpatcher @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @weewootruck @loveyouanyway

@spagheddiediaz @rainbow-nerdss @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove

@nmcggg @rogerzsteven @hippolotamus @bidisasterevankinard @giddyupbuck

@sunshinediaz @honestlydarkprincess @911-on-abc @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings

@buddieswhvre @fortheloveofbuddie @your-catfish-friend

@daffi-990 @hoodie-buck @aroeddiediaz

[theophagie]

Kairi's unresponsiveness during the final battle in KH3 is so infuriating and so many of the excuses people make for it are utter crap to me... I don't think it should slide, but at least I can concede that she may have done nothing when Terranort attacked her because of her past with him, but not fighting back at all when Xemnas grabbed her? Bruh... literally all they did was say "we have Got to shove this girl in the fridge no matter what". Lea went through the same training as her and got his ass handed to him as well, but at least he had multiple things to fall back on when that failed (reuniting with Roxas and Xion, his whole deal with Isa). Kairi didn't even have that...........

[mortellanarts]

One layer challenge except it wasn't a challenge I was just losing it

[icharchivist]

i mean i get why it sucks but i've been having an existential crisis that keeps me up at night for most of my life too and i'm not producing people expressly to abuse them and use them as tools about it. Astrals are just on something else i guess

i'd say it's a question of scale in general, as in an existential crisis coming so deeply from a whole different life in your head would fuck someone up much more. but anyway i keep saying Lucilius' way to treat other is bad, in those same posts in fact, just that his issues with depersonalization/derealization are also extremely compelling and actually make me feel bad for him. Those two feelings can coexist, and i don't mean that you have to be nicer to him or anything. i'm just saying he's still an interesting character.